


All I want for Christmas is a priest

by ValkyrieOfSmut



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 17:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17146271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieOfSmut/pseuds/ValkyrieOfSmut
Summary: Kurt has given up the way of the X-Men for the way of the Catholic church. He has spent the last nearly three years training and devoting himself and is nearly finished. He is happy with the way life is, until a woman who isn’t a member of the church comes to sing with them for Christmas. She is a human, he is a mutant, she is a member of the choir, he is a priest to be… It’s a sin for them to be together, but fate, or God, or maybe Christmas, has different plans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kurt Wagner x Non mutant! OC  
> Types: Smut, Romance, some angst, holidays  
> Warnings: Smut, religious references, Priest!Kurt, debauchery of a priest in training, probably inaccurate Catholic references, mentions of past sexual abuse, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…)  
> A/n- There are a lot of song lyrics in the story. You can let them wash over you, try to find them, ignore them and think the OC is weird, or just go with it.

Kurt straightened his cassock, looking at himself in the mirror, his fingers touching the empty spot where his collar would go. He wouldn’t get it until he was ordained, but the date was drawing closer.  
He’d left the X-Men a few years ago, deciding that he would be better able to serve the mutant community by giving them hope and the knowledge that God didn’t hate them.  
He looked at the contacts that made it look like he had pupiled, more normal eyes to make sure they were in place, then his eyes moved to his cheek, closely examining the flesh colored make up there to make sure that his blue skin was fully covered. He had hated it at first, but had gotten used to it over the three and a half years he had been in the seminary, training to get to where he was. Now he only had the last six months of practical training, or interning, which he had started a few months ago with a priest, Father Connor, who was about ten years older than himself and knew of his strange appearance.  
He opened the door and stepped out of the office leading to the choir seating, only to be washed over by singing. It wouldn’t have been so strange if the church hadn’t been empty except for himself and the priest before he’d gone into the office.  
Kurt looked around, seeing a hooded figure in a long coat walking down the aisle, singing. He had frozen, hearing the words.  
_“Hoppe hoppe Reiter, und kein Engel steigt herab, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, nur der Regen weint am Grab, hoppe hoppe Reiter, eine Melodie im Wind, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, und aus der Erde singt das Kind…”_  
The German was rolled, rounded, practiced, but the words slightly off, as someone who hadn’t had enough practice speaking the language itself sang them. The low voice was off, as well, like a man speaking in falsetto, only reversed. Maybe a tenor singing a bass’s part, stretching to drop that extra octave to match the low notes.  
The hooded figure continued down the aisle, stopping and looking up at the front, dropping to a knee and standing in one motion before heading to the back where the priest’s main office was, never missing a word of the song.  
Kurt looked after the figure, wondering what the whole thing was about. He had never seen anyone coming into church in such a manner, and the figure hadn’t seemed very accustomed to Catholic traditions, knowing enough to touch a knee to the ground, but maybe not knowing, or caring, enough on how to do it properly.  
The doors to the church opened again and a few ladies entered, giggling among themselves and making their way up to the choir seating. More people filed in, making their way to the chairs waiting for them so they could begin practice.  
Kurt watched them, glad that they had accepted him into their church enough to not mind him being so close, but his mind kept straying back to the figure, wondering what they could want, thinking over the whole walk as they went down the aisle to the back office. He couldn’t even be sure of the person’s gender, though the voice and shapeless looking form made him lean heavily toward male.  
There was a laugh from the back, and Kurt turned to look as the priest and the hooded figure made their way to the choir seating. Father Connor put a hand on the figure’s shoulder and looked to him.  
“This is Kurt. He is new, and we have put him to work as the choir director to help get ready for Christmas.”  
The figure waved, but Kurt couldn’t see any features, since the person kept their face down. They turned and walked past the chairs, going to the stairs, pulling the hood back slowly, revealing furry ears.  
Kurt was horrified; it appeared that this person was a mutant, physically affected, and they were showing it in front of everyone!  
His cheeks started to burn in regretful embarrassment as he remembered that he had spent years fighting with the X-Men, fighting so that physically affected mutants could feel safe and comfortable enough to show themselves without hiding. Still, it was dangerous…  
Maybe he had just gotten too used to trying to fit in with makeup...  
“Nice hat, still,” one of the ladies commented, a bit of rudeness not really hidden in her tone.  
“Not easily offended, know how to let it go, from the mess to the masses...” was the trailing off reply.  
The voice was higher now, and Kurt felt more unsure of the gender of the person. He looked away and when he looked back, the person had sat down in one of the chairs on the top row, between the tenors and altos, holding the music in front of them to study it.  
Kurt ran the choir practice, paying attention to the music, and not to the mystery person.  
As the practice ended, though, Father Connor stepped to the person and stopped them. “Kurt, I’d like you to introduce yourself to our friend.” With that, Father Connor went to where a couple of the patrons were trying to get his attention.  
“ _Hallo_ ,” Kurt greeted, his hands clutched together to let the difference remain unseen.  
“Hello,” came the voice, feminine, he thought, or maybe just high for a man… “Reindeer, hello snowman, hello Santa, happy holidays,” the figure finished in a mumble.  
“I’ve never seen you here before,” Kurt offered after a stunned moment.  
“I’ve never seen you either, but I’m like Santa. I only come for Christmas,” was the explanation to Kurt’s silence.  
“You only come to church for Christmas?” He asked. “None of the other masses or celebrations?”  
The figure looked uncomfortable, looking to the side instead of the floor where they’d been focused. “I don’t belong here... I don’t belong here…”  
Kurt hesitated. “Everyone belongs here,” he said.  
“No, I mean I don’t go here. I’m not part of the church; I just like singing…”  
Kurt tried to get a better look, or any look at all, really, from the figure’s face. He smiled to try to put the person at ease and said, “You must like singing very much.”  
“Yes… I’m a second alto, so if you need a tenor, you can ask me.”  
“Second alto, hm?” Kurt asked, making note that the person was a woman.  
“Yes…”  
Father Connor came back to stand next to them as the last of the other choir participants made their way out. “You should stop hiding,” he commented to the woman.  
She reached up and tugged off her hat, giving him a look. “I’m not hiding, Father Connor, your church is just very cold.”  
Father Connor chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure. You should actually speak to him. Remember what we’ve talked about.”  
She rolled her eyes and turned them to Kurt, unzipping her coat and taking it off to let it fall on the floor. She held out her hand for Kurt to shake, looking polite. Kurt carefully took her hand so she didn’t notice that it was different.  
“Hello, my name is Liesel, I’m a second alto, so please, call on me if you need another tenor.”  
Kurt looked into her mostly green eyes, flecked with brown as they looked at him, not quite connecting. Her shirt was loose around her, leading to show that she carried a little extra weight, and her longish brown hair fell messily around her shoulders. “Liesel?” Kurt asked, surprised at the unusual, and German, name.  
“Like the Sound of Music,” she supplied.  
“Ah. Is that your favorite musical?” He asked.  
“No. I like others more.” Father Connor gave her a look and she rolled her eyes slightly again. “Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hairspray, Nightmare Before Christmas, Little Shop of Horrors…”  
Kurt smiled. “Yes, those are some good ones, as well.” Her lip lifted a little. Probably at the thought of a soon to be priest watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  
“Kurt, perhaps you can talk to Liesel.” Liesel gave Father Connor a look.  
“Oh?” Kurt asked.  
“Yes, she has been singing with us for, I believe this is the third year? But, I still have not been able to convince her to come to a regular mass,” he answered.  
“Is there a reason?” Kurt asked her.  
“Please excuse me, I’ll leave you to talk, I’ve some business in my office,” Father Connor told them.  
Liesel sighed and picked up her coat and things, then moved to sit down. Kurt looked at her in question. “He won’t let me be until we talk for at least fifteen minutes,” she told him.  
Kurt sat next to her. “Are there any questions you have?”  
“No,” she answered. “I’m not part of your church, but I don’t have anything against you. I respect your religion, even if I don’t partake.”  
Kurt smiled. “That’s very Christian of you.”  
Liesel shrugged. “Sure.”  
“Liesel, why is it that you like singing here so much?” He asked.  
“I just like singing with a group. I sing with the local city choir, too, but they don’t sing the hymns, like Ava Maria and the like.”  
“You like singing hymns?”  
“Yes,” she answered.  
“What is your favorite?”  
“Hard to say, Mary Did You Know isn’t as moving to listen to as it is to sing, I think, but… Hm… Ave Maria, Angels We Have Heard on High, Hark the Herald Angels Sing… Things with a good four part harmony… I’m rather fond of Still Still Still, but I don’t think that counts as a Hymn.”  
Kurt nodded. “Liesel, why is it that Father Connor wants you to talk to me, do you think?”  
Liesel’s lip twitched up. “He wants me to be nice to you, because being silent can be construed as rude.”  
Kurt’s brow raised. “Oh?”  
She nodded, then turned to look into his eyes. “I’m also supposed to look you in the eye or face.”  
“Is it something you’re trying to work on?”  
“I suppose,” she answered.  
“What do you mean, you suppose?” Kurt asked.  
“That, I believe, is private, due to some law about confession,” Liesel told him, blinking and looking away as her eye twitched. The dry wintery air was starting to make them dry and itchy, even though it was just starting to get to winter temperatures.  
Kurt nodded in reply to her, a slight wincing smile lifting his lip as he wondered what she had confessed that would make trying to be socially interactive something she was working on.  
A beeping sound came from the woman’s person and she dug through her pocket, pulling out a phone, asking for him to excuse her. “Hello?” She answered. “Well, no- oh! I didn’t- Yes, I’ll be right there,” she told the person before hanging up the phone. “Please excuse me, I’ve got to get going,” she told Kurt, standing and pulling on her coat and eared hat.  
Kurt stood and smiled as well. “I’ll see you in a few days for practice, then.”  
“Yes, a few days,” she answered, wondering how she’d forgotten that today was the first meeting for the city choir to set up practice.  
... ... ...  
A few days later, after practice, Kurt stepped to Liesel, knowing that Father Connor wanted him to talk to her, hoping that she’d join the congregation, maybe find what she was missing or something to help her. “ _Hallo_ , Liesel.”  
“Hello,” she answered quietly.  
“May we talk again?” Kurt asked.  
She looked up to his eyes, as though appraising him. “I suppose. What do you want to talk about?”  
“How about movies?” He asked.  
She assented, and they spoke for a while, not noticing that the time was quickly passing them by. Kurt was glad that she seemed to open up a little more, being still hesitant to share and strangely a little standoffish, but less so, especially after they had discussed movies and found that they had quite a few tastes in common.  
Kurt made a gesture with his hands, and Liesel's eyes followed one, taking in the appearance, but as soon as his hand disappeared back down, behind his back in nervousness, she looked back to his eyes.  
“Yes, but you’ll hear how much better the book was.” Kurt nodded, worried that she would realize that he was a mutant, and then would become afraid and belligerent. “I always try to walk into the movies expecting nothing, accepting that it is a different way to tell the same story. That way, as long as it stays pretty true to the lore and rules in the book, I don't take it too hard.”  
Kurt nodded again. “That is a good way to think about it,” he agreed.  
Liesel blinked hard, noticing how dark it had gotten. “I should go,” she told him, standing. Kurt stood as well and walked her out.  
... ... ...  
The next time they spoke about books, and the next about movies, books, and plays they liked. They spent a few weeks like that, and got to know each other more. Slowly, Liesel relaxed around him, becoming more comfortable in his company.  
After about a month, Kurt found that he was very fond of the time he got to spend with Liesel, glad that they had been able to become friends.  
Liesel also felt some happiness at the amount of time she was getting to spend with Kurt, for some reason looking forward to it, despite knowing that it was only because it was Kurt’s job as a clergyman to attempt to help the downhearted.

Snow had fallen thickly over the few days since the last practice, and Kurt was marveling at the beautiful blanket of fresh snow in the courtyard, thinking happily that choir practice would be soon, and he’d get to spend time with Liesel after.  
Liesel hefted her foot over the pile of snow next to her car, irritated that she hadn’t had time to change at work. If they would let her off on time instead of making her stay as long as the kids wanted a picture with the Santa crew, she wouldn't be stuck in the ridiculous costume.  
She shivered as she hurried to the church, finding Father Connor in the front hall. “F-f-f-f-Father C-Connor,” she greeted.  
He turned to her and smiled. “My, don’t you look festive,” he commented, looking down her fuzzy red dress, frilly skirt, elfin tights, and heavy black boots.  
“Y-y-yeah… Do you mind if- if I change in the- office?” She asked, trying not to stutter as she rubbed her hands together to try to regain feeling in her numb fingers.  
“Of course,” he told her.  
“Th-thanks,” she gratefully told him, taking her bag of clothing and heading to the office off of the choir seating.  
She quickly pulled off the boots and tights, her frozen and previously wet skin clammy. She bunched up the tights, feeling the wet feet as she pulled the shorts from around them, and pulled the shorts on again before stuffing the tights into her bag. She reached behind her and unzipped the dress, pulling the thing over her head.  
Kurt walked down the hallway, eager to get to choir practice and spend time with Liesel after. He stopped in the hall, looking at his hands quickly to make sure they were still covered with makeup before opening the door to the office behind the choir seating.  
He looked up, stopping in shock at the beautiful female body in front of him.  
Long legs.  
Trim figure.  
Arms held up.  
The red velvet material came off of her head, and long, glowing brown hair cascaded down around her shoulders and ample breasts. Breasts surrounded by silky looking fabric, stomach bare, small shorts over her hips and thighs, bare, smooth legs…  
So beautiful…  
Kurt’s eyes jumped up to Liesel’s, which were wide in something that looked like terror, as she held the red fabric in front of herself. “I-I-I-” Kurt blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and stepped back out of the room, closing the door and leaning back against it.  
Liesel’s arms fell and the dress landed in front of her as she fell to her knees. She blinked rapidly, looking around. The panic and fight or flight were still flowing through her body. “It’s ok,” she whispered to herself, pulling herself back up. She looked at the door across from her, the one that lead to the hall, and hurriedly pulled her clothes on.  
Maybe… Just maybe…  
.  
Kurt ran the practice, avoiding looking at Liesel, embarrassed about walking in on her, but also embarrassed that her nearly nude body was burned in his mind.  
The choir participants started filing out, and Kurt blushed, but stepped up to Liesel as she walked to go past him. “Liesel…” She paused, keeping tabs of his position relative to hers, though it looked like she wasn’t looking at him, and he took that as a sign that she was listening. “I-I’m sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean- I didn’t know you were in the office…” He explained, feeling his face heat under the makeup caked over it.  
Liesel looked up at him. His hands were twisting nervously, his eyes were sincere, his shoulders hunched in embarrassment, but also in sincerity. Maybe… Maybe he was ok… Liesel felt a slight smile lift her lips. “It’s ok…”  
Kurt let out a barely audible sigh of relief. “I’m glad… Liesel… What would you like to talk about today?”  
.  
Liesel had left, and Kurt had gone to his room, undressing for a shower. He paused, looking at where the makeup stopped, leaving a strange swirling between the flesh color and blue on his forearm.  
He stepped into the shower and turned on the water, turning it toward cold as the image of a beautiful, nearly nude Liesel filled his mind.  
He had judged her wrongly; she wasn’t plump, as he’d expected. Her breasts were large, making her shirt hang loosely around her and give her the illusion of extra weight, but she was well fit; not too skinny, almost chubby, but right in that perfect spot before, just his preference.  
He felt himself reacting to the sexy image, and shook his head, but that only brought the image of her hair falling all around her shoulders and breasts. He drew in a breath, trying to steady himself.  
He hadn’t felt the pleasure of his hand for about three years, falling to temptation once or twice just after joining the seminary, and feeling the pleasure of a woman had stopped even longer back.  
Kurt turned the water colder and took another breath. He had to keep his wits about him…  
She was his friend, and while he would savor the chance to touch her beautiful body, hear her singing in pleasure, he was nearly finished with his training to become a priest; hardly three months left. It was impossible, besides, she was supposed to see him as a support, a bridge to God, a friendly, concerned, but benign presence, helping lift her faith.  
.  
Kurt awoke the next day, glad that he had denied himself; if he had thought of her while pleasuring himself, he felt he would have greatly regretted it this morning.  
He spent his day taking care of his obligations, ignoring the down feeling that he wouldn't get to see Liesel today, and just how greatly he was looking forward to tomorrow when he would see her again.  
.  
Liesel stretched as she stood with the group, spending a little longer stretching as the other people started walking away.  
This time, however, they were discussing something they were planning, a toy or money drive, items for donation to the homeless, running a soup kitchen, they hadn’t decided yet, but they were hanging around in clumps, and Liesel walked down, pausing by a pew, hoping Kurt would still come to talk to her. She brushed out her coat while she waited, wondering why she was standing there.  
Kurt greeted a group of women who stopped him.  
“What do you think, Father Wagner? Do you think a soup kitchen, or a clothing drive would be better?”  
“I’m not sure, ladies, I believe Father Connor would be better at evaluating the need of the community. I don’t think I’ve been here long enough to have a enough of an idea.”  
The women tittered and murmured to themselves as he walked away toward Liesel, his eye bothering him more this afternoon than it had this morning. He rubbed at it, but could find little to no relief. “ _Hallo_ , Liesel,” he greeted as he rubbed his eye a little harder.  
“Hello,” Liesel greeted. She was easily looking him in the eye, something she’d had to work at for the first little while. He smiled, opening his eye with a little more comfort. Liesel blinked and her eyes widened. “Um… Your eye…” Kurt blinked, unsure of what she meant. “Your… contact?” She suggested, not sure if it was the right thing.  
“Oh,” Kurt rubbed at his eye a little more, and felt the contact come free onto the back of his knuckle. He closed his eye to look at her, nervous of the others so close as well. “Ahm… _Ja_ , it has been bothering me all day…”  
“Do you need a mirror to put it back in?” She asked.  
“Ah, no, my fingers are… dirty…” He told her, looking down at the makeup covered hand holding the contact.  
“I- I could help you,” Liesel told him, reaching into her small bag and pulling out a travel size bottle of saline.  
“You just carry that around with you?” Kurt asked as she took the contact from his hand and washed it in hers.  
“The winter air dries out my contacts,” she told him.  
Kurt’s breath caught in his lungs as Liesel stepped closer, putting a hand on his cheek and focusing on his eye.  
“You’re going to have to open your eye if I’m going to get this contact back in,” she lightly teased.  
Kurt opened his eye and she pulled down his lid. She was very close to him as she raised a brow at noticing the dark purple color inside his eyelid. She spent a second putting the contact in before telling him, “blink. Again.” She pulled her hand away and nodded. “You’ll probably have to look around for a second to get it settled in place.”  
Kurt did and it was much more comfortable. He was hesitantly quiet, unsure of her reaction. He’d hopped that she hadn’t quite caught how different his hand was before, maybe it had been too dark, but now, she had stood almost close enough to touch him, staring at his eye in the light…  
There was no way she’d missed it. But… She wasn’t saying anything… “I- I hope you… Won’t hold it against me…” She turned her head a little as her face reflected her confusion. “That… That I’m a mutant…” He murmured so the others wouldn’t hear.  
“I hope you won’t hold it against me that I’m not a member of your church,” she returned with a sly smile.  
“Never,” he shook his head.  
“Ditto,” she replied.  
He smiled in relief. She was so kind and thoughtful, more so than quite a few of the patrons of the church, he thought grimly.  
He was thinking a little fondly of her, perhaps…  
Liesel blinked and stepped back, feeling how her chest had become uncomfortably tight. She looked away, her cheeks heating a little as she bit her lip. Why was she thinking of him this way? Sure, she liked him; he was nice, and they had a lot in common, but she couldn’t think of him as anything more than a friend. He was a member of the clergy.  
Kurt was relieved that Liesel didn’t seem to care about him being a mutant. Thinking back, he was fairly certain that she had seen how different his hands were and just hadn’t said anything.  
He enjoyed their time together as they spoke, and eventually Liesel had to leave. Was it just his imagination, or was she hesitating to go?  
“Well… I guess I’ll see you next week,” she told him, leaving through the doors.  
“Next week,” he agreed. He watched her go, until she got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot.  
“Kurt, it’s getting late. Have you been speaking to her for all this time?” Father Connor asked.  
Kurt’s cheeks heated, and he was glad for the makeup that hid it. “Yes, we were a little engrossed in our conversation,” he admitted.  
Father Connor chuckled. “You seem to be rather fond of her,” he commented.  
“She is… very nice.”  
“You seem to have much in common,” Father Connor offered.  
“Yes,” Kurt agreed.  
“Do you, perhaps, care for her a little more than is normal?”  
“No,” Kurt quickly rebutted. “No. She is just a very nice young woman, who seems sad… Lonely…”  
“She has seemed less sad lately,” Father Connor commented.  
“Good,” Kurt commented back. “No one should be sad at Christmas time.”  
Father Connor nodded in agreement.  
... ... ...  
Liesel wrapped a present, hesitating with a piece of tape. “Can I help you?” She asked the man standing at the counter.  
“Is Andrea still here?” He asked.  
“Andrea,” Liesel called toward the back.  
The young blond hurried to the front room. “Yes? Oh! Richard!” She cried, rushing forward and around the counter. The two wrapped their arms around each other, kissing.  
Liesel set the finished package to the side and looked up at them. She wished that someone would kiss her.  
It had been a long time since she’d been able to get that far with a man. Scars on her heart and trust made it hard, but she tried not to think about the past and what her stepbrother had done to her, forcefully and painfully. She was feeling more confident than she had in a long time, in no small part due to singing with the choirs, she knew, but still, she wanted someone to kiss her, and maybe if she found someone she could trust-  
An image of Kurt floated in her mind’s eye.  
Liesel gave a slight jump. No- no, not Kurt, he was a priest; definitely off limits, and probably not interested in her more than trying to be her friend and help her not feel alone. But still, it would be nice if she could find someone to kiss her like Richard was kissing Andrea…  
Passionately and lovingly…  
Kurt’s image popped up again.  
Liesel’s eyes widened as she stepped back from the table and turned to grab the next package needing gift wrapped, but her hands stopped, resting on it.  
Why was she thinking of him like this? She shouldn’t- couldn’t! He was a clergyman, and though she wasn’t part of his church, she respected his position and all he’d had to sacrifice and swear to to obtain it.  
Still, she couldn’t help but think of him, his smile, the way his eyes looked at her warmly… Her heart was beating a little faster, and she bit her lip. She had a crush on him. She shook her head to free it of the shock. Normally, a crush wouldn’t be anything to worry about, something normal and healthy, but now…  
She couldn’t think about Kurt like this. He was a holy man and thinking about him, about kissing him or anything else that wasn’t platonic, was inherently dirty, making her like a wicked, conniving, betrayer of God…  
She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Wait, she thought. It’s just a crush, it’s not like I’m actually trying to get him to kiss me. It’ll probably just go away by itself… Yeah… I’ll find someone more appropriate, and this will be in the past…  
.  
Liesel sat in a pew at the back of the church, hoping she would remain unseen.  
She ducked down as the office door at the back of the church opened. Father Connor walked out and pulled his coat on, getting a shovel from the closet across from his office before heading down the hall away from the hall.  
The door to the choir director’s office opened as well and Kurt- Father Kurt- Father Wagner walked out. She took a breath and hid deeper in the pew. She shouldn’t be here alone with him…  
The door opened and some other choir people came in. She waited until they had passed and followed behind them up to the seating, saying hi as Kurt greeted all of them. She sat in her spot as they waited for everyone to gather.  
Soon enough, they had all come and practice was finished.  
Kurt waited as the majority of the choir group filed out, looking at Liesel as she made her way down. He looked away quickly as the thought of her in lingerie filled his head. “Liesel,” Kurt greeted when she reached him.  
“Father Wagner…” She hesitantly said.  
Kurt paused in surprise. “Ah, you may still call me Kurt,” he told her. Her cheeks turned a little pink, and he was at a loss for why.  
They sat as the rest of the group discussed their winter charity with Father Connor, and Kurt’s eyes had to focus on staying away from her body, neck, lips, or the way her hair fell around her shoulders.  
They talked, taking pleasure in each other’s company, and reminding themselves that they couldn’t be thinking the things they were.  
Father Connor turned the lights on above them, and Liesel realized just how dark it had gotten. She looked at her phone for the time and stood quickly. “Wow, I can’t believe how late it is.”  
Kurt escorted her out, making sure that she arrived at her car safely before turning and seeing that Father Connor was still there.  
“Kurt,” he greeted.  
“Father Connor…” Kurt answered unsurely.  
“You do seem to have a good time with Liesel.”  
“Yes,” Kurt answered, not sure what to say. Father Connor smiled to him.  
“She seems to be rather taken with you as well.”  
Kurt walked toward him, giving an unsure nod of acknowledgement at his attempt to start a conversation. “She does enjoy talking about things, unfortunately, much of the American music is unfamiliar to me, and she seems to be very fond of it.”  
Father Connor nodded. “She could have an entire conversation by quoting songs,” he confessed to Kurt. “It was quite disconcerting when she first came here. She seems to be doing a lot better since talking to you.”  
Kurt couldn’t quite stop the smile tugging at his lips.  
They made their way to their rooms, Kurt going to wash off the makeup caked over his skin. A shower was always the easiest, as he felt chunks of the stuff fall from him in the rushing water, and he stepped in. He closed his eyes and scrubbed at his face, letting the false skin be washed away.  
Liesel looked up at him shyly.  
Kurt’s eyes snapped open, trying to get the image out of his head.  
If he were honest, he would confess about this, but he was afraid of Father Connor finding out about how he was feeling, knowing that it was an improper thing for him to be thinking about her like this. He would fail and be kicked out of the church for sure…  
And yet, Liesel’s body seemed to be there next to him, her hair impervious to the falling water, but her body letting it glisten down her. Down her breasts, over her stomach, along her thighs-  
Kurt shook his head. He couldn’t think this, and yet…  
He couldn’t get the thought out of his head. He thought of her as a beautiful young woman, a kindhearted friend and good conversational partner during the day, but when she wasn’t there, as soon as the sun had gone down and he’d stepped into the shower to rid himself of the caked on makeup, his body started making its desires known. His body wanted her, craved her and needed her like he’d never thought of wanting any woman, thing, or even food or water, in his life.  
He refused, night after night, reminding himself that he had sworn to celibacy. He had to keep strict; there was no telling what would happen to his relationship with Liesel if he couldn’t control himself. He may be unable to stop from confessing to her of his improper thoughts, and she would surely be unable to ever look him in the face again.  
His hand had drifted down his abs in his distraction, desperate to rid him of this frustration, but he caught it before it could, slamming it against the wall as he groaned in anger and helplessness.  
The frustration would last another day.  
... ... ...  
Days passed and his frustration grew. It had been two, nearly three, weeks since he’d walked in on her, and every night, the memory of her beautiful skin haunted him. It was driving him mad. His body needed her, needed release, needed attention as a man! He turned it down, over and over, refusing to give in.  
.  
It was Friday, the last of the practice days that week, and Kurt reflexively smiled at seeing Liesel sitting at the top of the stairs. She was so beautiful.  
Kurt dismissed the group and stood in his spot at the front, waiting for Liesel to come closer to him.  
Liesel looked up, her cheeks pinkening. “Hi, Kurt… I have to hurry to city choir practice today, so I can’t stay, but…” Kurt felt his heart squeezing. She couldn’t stay and talk to him. It was going to be days before he got to see her again, next Thursday, to be precise, as the choir practice would temporarily be put on hold so that the church could run it’s clothing drive. Liesel turned back to him from her small bag. “I made this for you, um, so you could- it has some music on it-” Kurt took the offered cd, looking at it in confusion. “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I don’t even know if you have a cd player, I mean, Father Connor has a computer and it should work on there-”  
Kurt smiled and put his hand on hers. “It’s great, thank you.”  
Liesel let out her breath in relief. “Well… I’ll see you next week,” she told him, and he nodded.  
Kurt watched her walk away. It would be nearly a week until he saw her again. His fingers tightened, holding the cd case against him.  
The group had dispersed, and Father Connor and he were the only people left. They cleaned the church, had a drink of cider together, and said good night to adjourn to their studies. Father Connor was reading his scriptures and preparing for his sermon on Sunday, Kurt was sure, and he took his bible from his desk drawer for study after his shower, and when finished, sat at his desk, opening the bible to the page he had left off on.  
The next day Kurt helped get the church ready for mass, dusting, shining, sweeping, and vacuuming, making sure there were bibles enough in all the pews. He helped to complete the rest of the chores, too, and by the end of the day was glad of his shower, even though Liesel’s image was waiting there, making his body beg for release.  
As Kurt stared at the page in front of him, he realized that he was lost in thought, and his vision slid to the cd Liesel had given him.  
He closed his bible and stood, going to the closet where his things were and dug into the box where the things he didn’t use much were and pulled out an old discman, pulling the headphones free and starting to stuff them in his ears as he went back to his desk and sat as he took the cd from the case and swapped it with the one in the discman.  
The cd player actually still worked, surprising him, and the music started. It was upbeat, catchy, the lyrics meant something, or were just fun… it was interesting. He’d heard one or two before, but a lot of them were new to him.  
There were twenty five songs, and somewhere in the middle, he changed from the chair at his desk, to his bed. He laid back, listening to the music, letting the sound wash over him. His eyes closed, and he drifted off, thoughts of Liesel filling his mind.  
.  
A shrill alarm sound filled the room, and Kurt’s eyes snapped open. The batteries had died and silence came from the earbuds in his ears. He pulled them out and started his routine for getting ready for mass.  
The mass was lovely, a touching sermon about loving one another, the season, and charity. Kurt felt filled with peace and hope, and his mind filled with thoughts of Liesel. After the sermon, he helped take confession, talked to the people who stayed to help clean the church, and discussed the charity with the people who were mostly in charge.  
When he got into the shower, Liesel was still there, her body tempting him. He finished the shower as quickly as possible and turned to Corinthians. “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Kurt paused and read it again. He tried to let it sink in deeper before continuing. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” He had to keep his body and mind pure.  
.  
Monday he volunteered to do the shopping for them, and made a special stop at the battery section to get some for his discman. When he got back to the church and had put all of the groceries away, he went to his room and pulled the discman from his desk, quickly putting in the batteries and stuffing the earbuds in his ears. He turned the player on and listened to the songs as he laid on the bed. Visions of Liesel went through his head with the music, making him restless.  
He turned off the cd and went out to fix dinner for Father Connor and himself, after which they went their separate ways and Kurt climbed into the shower. He saw Liesel there, as usual, and his body begged him for release.  
He ignored his body, reciting Corinthians to himself again. His stiffness didn’t leave, so he ignored it as he finished the shower, hoping it would go away. It still didn’t, and he continued ignoring it as he pulled on pajamas and laid in bed, putting the earbuds in his ears.  
He tried to focus on the music, but the songs made him think of Liesel, and as he started drifting off, his brain starting to think of things he wanted to do to Liesel, and what he wanted her to do to him…  
Kurt tossed and turned, trying to ignore his body’s desires, but had trouble.  
Kurt awoke in the morning, feeling as though he’d gotten no sleep. The first thing he did was read Corinthians, the second was to slather his face with the makeup that made him look like a normal human. The third was to go do his daily chores and help Father Connor with visits to the members of the church who weren’t able to make it to the mass regularly, or who were temporarily unable to attend. He helped clean a few places, cook a few meals, gather groceries and supplies for those confined to their homes, all of the things he should be doing as a part of the clergy, and yet, he couldn’t stop Liesel from popping up in his mind randomly.  
She teased him with her mostly green hazel eyes, her shining brown hair, her full lips, her round breasts, full, plush looking, and hidden under her baggy shirt. He had to pull his mind from where it shouldn’t be a lot more than was reasonable.  
Kurt walked with Father Connor back to the church, surrounded by silent reflection until Father Connor broke it.  
“You look troubled, Kurt.”  
“Ah, no,” Kurt denied.  
Father Connor paused, but came at him from another direction. “You are missing choir practice, aren’t you?”  
Kurt hesitated, but answered, “yes.”  
“You know, there is just under a month until Christmas.”  
Kurt’s head jerked up. It was true, there was just under a month of time that they would use to practice for that day, and then they would return to regular hymns.  
And Liesel would leave.  
Kurt’s chest felt tight, and he subconsciously touched it.  
That night, Kurt laid in bed, listening to the cd Liesel had given him. His body was calling for her, hoisting the fabric of his pants high like a flagpole with his stiffness. He tried to ignore it, lying motionless on his back, focusing on the music, but the inner turmoil was roiling.  
It was late. Father Connor was undoubtedly asleep, as he should also be. The whole town was most likely asleep. But Kurt couldn’t sleep. His body demanded things of him he couldn’t do. It demanded to be touched, it demanded that he let it be touched.  
I can’t! He thought desperately.  
“Then let me…” Liesel’s eyes slowly opened as she looked up at him, clothed in only her bra and panties as she straddled his hips.  
Kurt took a deep breath. No, I can’t! He thought in a near panic for losing his control as his heart pounded in his chest.  
“I’ll help you, Kurt,” Liesel whispered seductively to him.  
Kurt felt his hand moving down on its own. “No,” he murmured, his eyes contorting in concentration.  
“Please let me help you, Kurt, I want to help you… I want to help so badly…” Liesel told him as she leaned forward and rubbed up his body.  
It had been so long, his member jumped, fairly leaping to painful attention at the touch of his hand rubbing against it through his pajama pants. Liesel’s image slid down his body, rubbing against his rod stiff protrusion. It felt good, and she moved back up. Kurt’s hand was rubbing up and down with her body, pressing a little harder in some spots.  
He shouldn’t be doing this, none of it; not touching himself, not letting himself be distracted by sexual thoughts, and definitely not thinking of Liesel while doing it! But her breasts were pressed against him, teasing him just so, just right, he wanted to touch them, lick them, make her moan and cry out, God, he needed to taste them, her, all of her-  
“Uggh!” A guttural sound was jerked from Kurt as he suddenly spilled wetness over himself and his pajamas. He looked down at the mess spreading across his hips, a feeling of defeat filling him. He’d finally lost the battle.  
He laid back for a few minutes before taking off his headphones and going to his bathroom to clean up. He pulled off his pajamas and boxers, rinsing them in the sink before he stepped into the shower to give a quick wash to his hips and thighs, but as his hands tried to pass over him inoffensively, his cock sprang back up and to life.  
He looked down at it in shock. It was an extremely fast recovery, he hadn’t seen anything like it since maybe his teen years. He tried to ignore it, trying to wash around it, but his body was not giving up.  
Liesel was standing next to him, looking at him and smiling sweetly.  
He closed his eyes in defeat. He couldn’t stop her beautiful face and body from taunting him, even by giving in and giving his body what it wanted. He wrapped his hand around his again stiff cock, his arm relearning how to move, pumping up and down as he felt more and more fuzzy about why he shouldn’t be with Liesel in real life. His body was trying to convince his mind that it was good and right, ok and necessary. His hand tightened a little as it moved, quickening the pace until he fell over the edge, coming again and panting as he leaned against the wall.  
He was so dirty, so unclean and impure. The opposite of what he should be to be a priest. He was a failure, something corrupted and depraved. Kurt fell to his knees and looked up into the spray of water, praying to God for forgiveness.  
... ... ...  
Kurt felt the guilt tearing holes in his soul as he watched Liesel sing. She was so innocent and pure, she needed his compassion and kindness, but he’d turned her into some sort of lust object in his mind, having not been able to stop from pleasuring himself multiple times over the days since he’d first done it.  
He’d uncontrollably masturbated, followed by furiously begging God for forgiveness for his transgressions against his body and the beautiful woman haunting his thoughts, shower, and bed.  
The crowd pushed to get down to the floor, somehow pushing Liesel to the front and onto the floor first, making her duck to the side and escape down a side hall and out of the side door leading to the courtyard. She gasped a breath and let it out in relief. “Like a stampede of cattle,” she muttered to herself.  
Kurt stood at the side, watching as the crowd bundled Liesel away, surprised at their excitement to leave. But, then, there were only a couple of weeks until Christmas, and shopping was most likely on their minds.  
“I believe your conversational partner escaped that way,” Father Connor told him with a grin.  
Kurt nodded in thanks and headed down the hall he’d pointed to, following it and stepping out onto the sidewalk next to the garden by one side of the parking lot.  
There was Liesel, standing near a pile of snow, looking down at what patterns had been dripped in by the icicles on the roof.  
Kurt stepped next to her and she looked up at him before gesturing out to the line of cars slowly leaving the parking lot. “‘Tis the season for rush and consumerism,” she commented.  
Kurt smiled at how her thoughts seemed to echo his. He wasn’t even imagining them this time. His cheeks heated at the reminder that he often day dreamed about her, and in less than honorable ways.  
She looked back to him. “Do you do any Christmas shopping?”  
“ _Ja_ ,” he answered. “I have a few people; Father Connor, and a couple of friends that I used to work with.”  
She smiled, and he felt his insides warm. “I wrap a lot of presents, but none of them are from me,” she told him. He lifted a brow, and she admitted, “I do gift wrapping for a department store. When I’m not working at Santa’s village, anyway.”  
He smiled. “You must be very good at wrapping presents.”  
She shrugged and looked away. “It’s the only thing I’m good at, aside from singing.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets and turned toward the parking lot. “My skills are only going to be useful for another few weeks, though,” she murmured softly.  
Pain struck Kurt’s heart again; a few weeks were all he’d have with her. She’d leave after Christmas, he’d finish his training and be moved to his more permanent church, who knew where, and while she’d be able to return next year to sing, he would be unable to leave his post.  
A slight panic filled him, clouding his judgment.  
He’d never be able to see her again. He’d only have the cd she’d made, and the memories of her smile, eyes, lips, and body. And the agonizing need to touch himself as he thought of her every night.  
Kurt’s hands reached out and took hold of her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.  
Liesel looked up to him in surprise, only for her eyes to widen as his lips crashed into hers.  
He was gentle, but insistent, his soft kiss asking her lips to open, and letting his tongue slide in when they did. His arms wrapped around her, his hand on her side as his other fingers tangled in her hair to hold her close.  
Liesel had been kissed before, but she had always felt so nervous, worried that she’d react badly or straight up freak out because of the past, and she had ended up a mess, not really able to enjoy it much, but this... This was different.  
He was soft and warm, insistent, but not demanding, asking, but not forcing, it felt good, he tasted good, and he knew how to kiss, which was surprising for a priest.  
Liesel’s eyes sprang wide again in shock. Her hands rested against his chest and shoulder, having moved there on their own, and they didn’t want to leave. She wanted to keep kissing him, but- he was a priest! She was kissing a priest!  
She was one of those women, a temptress to turn the holy into the wicked, leading the pure astray and dragging them to the depths of Hell.  
Whore-  
Devil’s plaything-  
Jezebel-  
She pulled back, her lips parted, her eyes wide in horror.  
Kurt looked down at her, desire visible despite his cloaking contacts.  
Liesel pushed back from him slowly, stepping back despite her body crying at the loss of his. She turned and ran down the sidewalk and around the edge of the building to the part of the parking lot where she had left her car.  
Kurt stood, watching the direction she’d left, seeing her car pull out and speed off. His heart felt as though it had torn to small pieces.  
What had he done?  
The answer was very simple. He’d kissed Liesel.  
The rest of the very simple answer was that he’d destroyed everything; she would never be able to feel safe or comfortable around him again, she’d never be able to trust him, she’d never be able to look him in the eye, he’d broken his vows again, now, making him a disgrace to the church and humanity, plus mutants… All his fault.  
And he couldn’t help but wonder numbly; what had he done?  
He'd destroyed everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other half of All I want for Christmas is a priest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, enjoy! Merry Christmas!

Kurt laid back on his bed, listening to the cd Liesel had given him, for a minute ignoring the mess that would need to be cleaned before he fell asleep.  
It had been a week, and she hadn’t come back.  
Kurt still hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her every night, but he had started mourning that he might not see her again.  
Kurt did what he was supposed to do the next morning, but he was lethargic.  
Father Connor stopped next to him as he swept the chapple. “Isn’t it amazing?”  
“What?” Kurt asked as he paused his movement and looked to the older man.  
“How a man and a woman can find each other and fall in love, so easily today. A thousand or two thousand years ago, it would have been hard for a man from somewhere far away, Germany, say, to find someone here. Let alone find this specific church to be married in.”  
Kurt looked around. “ _Ja_ , it is amazing…”  
“Love is amazing, too. You could find the one that you’re meant to be with the rest of your life, fall in love, and it could be the best and most amazing thing in your life, but if you don't stay with the one you love, you could be heartbroken and sad for the rest of your life.”  
“ _Ja_ …” Kurt mumbled.  
“I think that anyone who is lucky enough to find such a love should stay with it, hold it tight and keep it close forever. Don’t you think, Kurt?”  
“ _Ja_ ,” he murmured. Father Connor studied Kurt for a moment before turning. “Father Connor,” Kurt called to stop him.  
He quickly turned to the other man. “Yes, Kurt?”  
“I’m meeting a friend tonight, I just wanted to let you know.”  
“Oh… Alright, Kurt.” Father Connor turned again and walked away after a pause.  
That night, after Kurt had finished his evening chores, he showered and redressed in his cassock before slinking out of the side door and heading down to the seedy bar that didn’t care if you were mutant or human, as long as you were there to drink.  
He slipped in and over to the table in the corner where Logan was already waiting for him.  
“‘Bout time, Elf,” Logan grumbled.  
Kurt smiled a little at his old nickname.  
“I had to finish evening devotion and chores.”  
Logan grunted in reply.  
Kurt took a long drink from the draft that had been waiting for him.  
“So… Why are we here, Kurt?” Logan asked.  
Kurt set down the mug with a sigh. “I was hoping that you could help me…”  
“Help you with what?” He asked, raising a brow. “What does a priest need from me?”  
“Not- not as a priest, Logan, as a friend…” Kurt turned away, shame filling his expression. “I did something stupid…”  
Logan set his mug down and filled it from the pitcher on the table. “Like what are we talking here?”  
Kurt took a deep breath and let it out. He would rather not talk about it, but Logan was his friend, and if he could tell anyone, it was him. Plus he had a favor to ask, and he knew that despite his gruffness, Logan would do whatever he could to help his friends when they asked.  
“I- I’ve… There is a woman who started coming to the church to sing in the choir, but only for Christmas…” Logan simply took another deep drink before setting the mug on the table and waiting. “She… She is very beautiful-” Kurt cut off and looked into his drink.  
“You rethinking your vows?” Logan asked, trying to gain an idea of what the favor on the table was.  
“I- No, I’m not… I don’t think so…” Kurt shook his head slightly to straighten himself out. “I kissed her, Logan.”  
Logan was silent, but watched as Kurt stared at his hand, flexing his fingers as he gathered his thoughts.  
“I went against the tenants of the church, I kissed her- I forced a kiss on her, I frightened her, the look in her eyes…” Logan’s eyes focused tighter on Kurt. “She ran from me, and she hasn’t been back since…”  
Logan was silent for a moment. It wasn’t like his blue friend to force a woman to do anything, and he wondered if the vows he’d made had skewed his vision. “Did she fight back when you kissed her?”  
Kurt looked up, startled at the question. “I- I don’t know…” Kurt looked away in thought. “I could swear she reciprocated- but maybe- I don’t know, Logan, my mind- it hasn’t been fully functioning lately,” he answered, flushing with embarrassment.  
“Because you’ve been thinking about her?” Logan asked, still super focused on Kurt’s face. Kurt closed his eyes, regret and shame visible. “Far, far more than is appropriate for a man of the church to think of a woman, let alone a priest to do so…”  
Logan sat back in his chair, taking another drink. “So what do you want me to do?”  
Kurt looked back up, meeting his eyes for the first time since he’d been asked to explain himself. “She hasn’t come back to the church for a week, and the look in her eyes as she looked up at me… I’m afraid that I’ve frightened her very badly, and- I just want to make sure that she is ok, but I’m worried that if I try to check on her… It would be rather like stalking, and that could make things worse…”  
Logan picked up his mug and took another drink. “You want me to check on her, keep an eye on her and make sure she’s ok?”  
Kurt sighed in relief and slid a paper containing her first name and phone number across the table to him, knowing that's all he would need to find her. “ _Ja_ \- yes, yes please, Logan. It would do only a little to put my fears at ease, but I want to make sure she is ok. It’s really a selfish need,” he blushed as he looked away.  
Logan put a few dollars on the table and drained the rest of his beer. He took the paper as he stood and made to leave, but turned back. “Hey, Elf, you think if you care this much about her, if you can’t stop thinking about her like that- you think you might love her?”  
Kurt felt his heart clench. “A priest looks fondly over his flock, but cannot love another in such a way…”  
Logan huffed and started away.  
“Besides,” Kurt murmured to his nearly empty mug. “She could never love me.”  
… … …   
Liesel nervously looked around, rubbing her arm and tugging her hood lower.  
She hadn’t come back to the church for two weeks, unable to look Kurt in the eye, or at him at all, the imagined burning feeling of Hell beneath her heels reminding her that she was a tainter, a corrupter. She slipped in through the doors of the church, inspecting the room for Kurt, but finding him missing.  
She quickly made her way to Father Connor through the assembled group of choir participants. “Father Connor,” she said quietly, and he turned to her.  
“Liesel, we’ve missed you-”  
“Shhh-” she waved her hands at him. “I- I had to stay away…”  
“Why, Liesel?” Father Connor asked in surprise.  
“I- Father Connor I-” She took a breath and had to compose herself, showing that she was deeply troubled by something.  
“Please tell me how I can help, Liesel,” Father Connor asked, motioning to the group to hold for a moment.  
“I- I need to confess,” she told him, thinking that this was the only way she could tell him what was happening, and hope for forgiveness from his church and God.  
“Ok,” Father Connor looked over to the instant group again before turning back to Liesel. “Give me five minutes, and I’ll be in the confessional.”  
She nodded, a breath of relief leaving her lungs. She hurried to the bathroom to try and compose herself.  
Kurt stared at himself in the mirror, making sure that his skin was covered. He wasn’t really paying attention, though, he was thinking over the conversation that he’d had with Logan, letting him know that Liesel was alright.  
He stepped out of the office and onto the choir seating. He stopped next to Father Connor who was looking a little harried at the group demanding his attention.  
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked.  
Father Connor looked toward him, then the confessional booth before back to the group of people. “Maybe- Kurt I’m going to be busy here, would you- could you take a confession for me?”  
Kurt raised a brow, but nodded. “Certainly, Father Connor.” He turned and started toward the booth.  
“Oh, Kurt, whisper,” Father Connor instructed. “-Leans against the grate,” he said by way of explanation.  
Kurt went to the booth and stepped into the side reserved for the priest, sitting and waiting for the partitioner to join him. He heard the other side open and close, a person sitting.  
“Father...?” Came a soft, hesitant voice.  
“Yes, my child, I am here,” he whispered.  
There was a sigh of relief, and the sound of clothing being shuffled around as they got comfortable. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned- sinned greatly… It has been about two years since my last confession…”  
Kurt blinked in surprise. That was a long time to not confess for while going to church at least once a week. “I am here for you, my child, tell me your sins and let God forgive you.” Father Connor was right, the girl in the other side was speaking very softly, her head laid against the grate between the two sides of the confessional.  
“I-I-” there was a hitch in the voice.  
“Take your time, my child,” he told her.  
“Father... Lately… Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep…”  
There was a tune to the voice in the other side, and Kurt’s brows met in confusion.  
“Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard-”  
The tune was familiar, and the words fell into place as an audio flash from the cd he’d been listening to non stop filled his mind. Liesel? He wondered. “What have you been praying for, my child?”  
“Forgiveness,” she told him.  
“What do you need forgiveness for? What has been keeping you awake?”  
Liesel took a breath that turned into minor hyperventilating before she got it under control. “I- I like someone,” she admitted. “Very much…”  
“That hardly sounds like a sin,” he whispered, though his gut heated a little in jealousy.  
“But- It’s someone that I shouldn’t like, that your laws say is never to be thought of that way…”  
“My laws?” He asked.  
“The laws of the church…”  
He paused. Someone that the church said she couldn’t like? “My child, I understand that this is a difficult thing to confess,” he told her in complete honesty, after all, he still hadn’t told anyone, let alone confessed to a priest, that he had inappropriate feelings for her. “But please let me understand what you are saying so that you may be forgiven.”  
“I- Father I’m afraid- I’m afraid I’ve started falling in love with-” There was a gasp of breath as she tried not to chicken out. “Kurt…”  
Her whisper was so quiet he nearly didn’t hear it. But hearing his name after that gasp, he jumped, looking to the window, afraid that she’d caught him while thinking she was talking to Father Connor.  
“With Father Wagner…” She said a little louder, and he realized that she didn’t know it was him she was talking to, but- His heart leapt into his throat- but was confessing that she was falling in love with him!  
He stared at her through the grate. “You- you think that you are falling in love with Father Wagner?” He asked.  
“Yes…” her voice was barely audible again as she waited for horror and damnation to be spewed at her from the other side; to be told that there was no hope for her and that she was going to Hell.  
Kurt still couldn’t believe it. “Please give me a moment to think about this,” he whispered. He didn’t want her to feel bad about how she felt, she obviously knew it was wrong, and he was the one who had crossed the line. What could he tell her that would give her hope? There were a thousand ‘thou shalt nots’ and many cries for denouncing betrayers, and getting rid of adulterers, sometimes by murder, but he didn't want those to be what she heard.  
“My child… It is not a sin to fall in love… And it is not a sin to be in love with someone you shouldn’t… As long as you don’t act on that love…” He had to pause as he didn’t want his heart to break too loudly. “I think Corinthians 10:13 will help you; No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”  
Liesel took a deep breath. “So… what you’re saying is…”  
“If you keep faith, God will help you through the temptation you feel for Father Wagner.”  
Liesel sighed. “Thank you, Father…”  
Kurt listened as Liesel gathered her things and left the booth, his heart squeezing in his chest. He could never have her…  
It would be better if she got over him so that at least one of them could be happy.

… … … 

Liesel sighed and laid back, her arm laying over her face. Father Connor had told her that God would give her the tools to stop the temptation she felt, but when she laid in bed trying to fall asleep and all she could think about was seeing Kurt’s face the next day, it was pretty obvious to her that she couldn’t get over it.  
It was the week before Christmas, and she needed to go to the church for choir practice, but when her dreams and thoughts were full of Kurt and his face, remembering how his lips felt against hers…   
She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for her to be in the same place as he was, or if it would be more dangerous for her heart.

… … … 

Choir practice was soon, and as Liesel walked into the church, she looked up at where Kurt was standing, putting his copy of the music in order. She turned her head and bit her lip.  
“Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” She sang softly. “If you only knew the bad things I like… Don’t think that I can explain it, what can I say; it’s complicated... Bad things with a priest… It’s not complicated, just wrong…” She fought the tears trying to fill her eyes as she made her way up to the choir seating.  
Kurt looked up as he saw Liesel pass him. He had to focus hard to keep his face from exploding into a smile. She was so beautiful, and… sad…  
He frowned slightly before he caught himself. Her beautiful face was marred by lines of sadness and guilt. He looked back to the music to hide the expression, shuffling the papers around even though they were in order.  
The practice ended, and Liesel headed down the stairs, going to the floor before stopping, wondering if she should tell Kurt anything, or if she should just go. She realized that she had taken too long when the man in her thoughts materialized in front of her.  
“Liesel,” he said softly.  
“Oh, hello, Father Wagner…” She greeted nervously.  
Kurt felt his heart sting at her formal addressing of him. “It’s good to see you back, Liesel,” he told her. He didn’t know why he couldn’t stay away from her, he shouldn’t be by her, shouldn’t be talking to her, shouldn’t be making this harder for either of them than it already was.  
She nodded, looking at the ground as tears started trying to grow in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” she told him. “More choir practice. Christmas is coming quick.”  
“That it is,” he agreed sadly. “Liesel,” he called as she started leaving, and she turned back. “Have a blessed day…”  
She nodded sheepishly and turned again toward the door.  
Kurt went back to the choir seating and started pulling all of the music together, but his fingers didn’t seem to be able to do what he told them. Instead they dropped things, flipped pages too hard so they flew away from him and landed on the floor, and just generally seemed to be thick and useless.  
“Sometimes, we are so focused on what we think we are supposed to be doing, that we have trouble seeing what God is telling us to do,” Father Connor commented as he stepped close to the railing around the choir seating.  
Kurt looked down at him, startled by his sudden words in the quiet room. “Is that going to be part of your sermon this sunday?” He asked.  
Father Connor looked back at him. “Maybe it should be, but somehow, I don’t think that the audience it’s meant for will understand any of it better than they are doing now,” he answered sadly.  
Kurt looked after him in confusion as he walked away.

… … … 

Kurt’s heartbeat sped up, his blood pumping through his veins, his eyes closing. His hand pumped, his breath gasped, his body yearned. He could imagine how Liesel would sound, what she would look like under her lingerie, how she would touch him. His hands remembered what she felt like, her body and soft hair, what her tender lips felt like against his, how she tasted against his tongue…  
His hand tightened on the pillow next to him as he came, letting everything fall where it may as he recovered. The music continued in his ears, lending to his thinking of Liesel more.  
He sighed and rose, cleaning himself and the bed before dropping to his knees at the bedside, his lips resting against his knuckles, but soon his forehead rested on the bed. How could God let this happen? Why had He planned it like this? Kurt had devoted himself to the church, to helping mutants everywhere, but now God had put Liesel right in his way.  
He couldn’t stop thinking of her, when he was awake, asleep, or staring at her. He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to hold her in his arms and crush her against his chest, hold her in his arms and make love to her, just hold her in his arms…  
He’d never be able to call her his, he had to stay true to the church, but he wondered if it was even possible with how he felt, and how much he was sinning, every night.  
Kurt rolled onto the bed, leaving his prayer unfinished. Would it even be possible for him to return to a respectable status in anyone’s eyes if they knew about what he was doing?

… … … 

Liesel walked into the church, seeing other people, just as she had planned it. She hurried up the stairs to the back of the crowd and took her seat, not looking at Kurt.  
She’d managed not to start crying during the last practice, and yesterday she’d made it through the day with only about a million thoughts about him, but now that he was in front of her, she couldn’t stay calm. Her heart was beating erratically, her lungs couldn’t seem to hold enough air, and her lips kept remembering how Kurt had kissed her, her tongue thinking about how delicious and perfect he’d tasted.  
She had to stop singing, and her eyes dropped to the floor. Her voice had wobbled, and she couldn’t have that in the choir. She took a breath and looked up, joining in at the next line.  
Liesel’s eyes drifted to Kurt, and her lips slowed, making it hard to keep up with the pace of the song. Her words stopped as Kurt’s lips pressed against hers. He softly asked for more, and her lips parted, letting him in. Liesel would swear Kurt was really kissing her, she could nearly taste him.  
She gasped a breath in, realizing that she hadn’t been breathing, and her hand went to her face as she realized that tears were already making streams down her cheeks. She glanced around to see if anyone noticed, but them not noticing was the benefit of standing in the back row. She looked down at Kurt and her lip trembled. She wanted to kiss him so badly. It was consuming her thoughts. It was the only thing she could think about. She wanted to push aside all of the people in her way and kiss him right there in the church.  
How dirty and disgusting could she be?  
A sob pushed its way out of her chest, making a few people look up at her. Kurt’s eyes locked with hers, and she knew he could see the tears. She tried not to react, looking away, but when she glanced back up at him, he was still looking at her, watching her with a troubled look on his face.  
She leaned down and grabbed her things, pulling her coat on and making sure her small bag was in the pocket as she hurried down the stairs. She rushed past the front row and Kurt, down the few steps and speed walked down the aisle to the front door, stepping outside and closing it behind her.  
She paused and looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath to cleanse herself. She took another, to cleanse the thoughts of Kurt’s lips from her mind. It didn’t work, so she tried again with still no progress. She skipped that and took a deep breath to calm herself, wiping her eyes so the tears didn’t freeze in trails down her cheeks.  
Kurt watched Liesel start toward the door, his heart aching to go after her, to hold her close and tell her that everything would be ok. He shouldn’t. He couldn’t…  
He turned back to the gathered people who were murmuring to themselves about Liesel’s escape. “I am going to go check on her. Since this is the last song, David, please direct until the end, then everyone have a good night. I’ll see you Saturday morning for our last practice before the mass.” Kurt handed the baton to the man he’d called to step up, and walked down the steps.  
He kept his pace steady, quick, but not in a hurry, as he made his way to Liesel.  
Liesel brushed her hair out of her face, taking another breath as she started toward her car with determination.  
The door opened behind her, and she looked back over her shoulder, wondering who would be leaving this early.  
Kurt stepped out, closing the door behind him. “Liesel,” he said, intending to get her attention for her to stop.  
Liesel turned and started running. She started toward her car, through the lawn instead of around the snow. There was a foot and a half easy, maybe two, piled up, and Kurt watched in amazement as she ran, her legs lifting high to clear the snow, only leaving the holes where her feet punched through the flat surface. She was making great speed, as though there was nothing there that should be slowing her down.  
Kurt shook his head as he came to his senses, realizing that she was running away from him, to her car, and this time, she may not come back. He quickly looked around as she cleared the snow and was running across the parking lot now, and teleported to her car.  
Liesel saw Kurt appear in front of her car from nowhere, a puff of dark smoke surrounding him as he arrived. Her eyes widened before she remembered he was a mutant. She turned and started toward the small path that lead to the road, avoiding where cars would enter and leave so she didn’t run into traffic.  
She couldn’t let herself go, she couldn’t touch him, she couldn’t give in to the feelings she had, lest she fall through the ground to Hell and drag him down with her.  
Kurt saw how easily she made the turn and decided that she had had training for running, whether for track or working out, he wasn’t sure, but she was skilled, reminding him of the teammates he’d left behind. He couldn’t let her get away.  
Liesel drew breath in her nose and huffed it out through her mouth as she ran, keeping it even to last longer, refusing to give in to the tears trying to build. She refused to sob, she refused to think of anything except running.  
Kurt suddenly appeared in front and to the side of her. She tried to react, but it was too fast, too close, and his arm reached out in front of her so she ran into it. It wrapped around her, pulling her and making her veer sharply. Kurt’s other arm caught her and together they pulled her close against his chest. The tears broke through, and Liesel sobbed against him. Kurt held Liesel close, his arms wrapped around her, keeping her head against his chest. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just holding her close as she sobbed.  
“Liesel,” he finally asked quietly.  
“I-I can’t,” she sobbed.  
Kurt squeezed her tighter, his eyes pressing closed in pain. “I know…” he whispered. He was quiet again for a moment, and just held her. “Liesel,” she felt his voice vibrating through his chest. “Please, don’t run…”  
She pulled back and looked up at him. He felt his heart tear at the tears streaming down her face. “I have to, I can’t stay- I can’t stop- I’ve tried so hard-” She sobbed again, but resisted as Kurt tried to pull her against him. “I can’t be this close to you- Kurt- Father Wagner, I- I have inappropriate feelings for you- I’ve really tried to stop, to make them go away, but they won’t! I can’t stop feeling this way no matter how hard I try, and if I don’t stay away- we’ll both go to Hell-” She started sobbing again, and couldn’t resist enough when Kurt pulled her against him.  
He held her against him, silently feeling the pain. He had an idea, but the thought of it made more painful tearing sensations fill his heart. His was in no way selfless enough to be in service of the church…  
“Why can’t I stop?” She asked him between sobs as her hands clenched around the fabric of his cassock shirt. “I just want to stop- I don’t want to send you to Hell-” She took a shuddering breath and a fresh round of sobs broke out over his shoulder. “I want you, but I can’t have you; I have to stop!”  
Kurt’s fingers tightened on her, his jaw clenching. She was in so much pain.  
“Why can’t I stop?” She begged softly, and he wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or God.  
“Liesel…” She sniffled before another sob escaped. “I… might have a way…” She looked up at him with red, tear streaked eyes. Her cheeks, brow, and nose were red as well. Her face looked swollen and wet, but it just made him want to kiss her more, made him want to make her never feel like this again. She searched his eyes as he looked down at her. “I think I know something that will make you stop being attracted to me.” She looked away in embarrassment, and he looked away as he let her go. “Come with me,” he told her, turning back toward the church.  
As they passed the parking lot, they saw that the cars of the other patrons had either left, or were going now.  
Father Connor was nowhere to be seen as Liesel followed Kurt toward the back of the church where the office was and through a door near it. It lead down a hallway and around a corner, then another before coming to a door. Kurt opened the door and walked inside, holding it for Liesel before closing it and crossing the office looking room with a couple of doors, turning down the left hall and not looking at the right.  
Liesel looked back at it, though, and saw that it must be where Father Connor’s living quarters were. She turned back so she didn’t run into a wall or Kurt as they made their way down the hall and around to a door, behind which was what was his living quarters.  
There was a nice space, not huge, but big enough that his things fit without spilling everywhere, and a door at the side. Liesel felt nervousness grow in her stomach as she saw the bed off to the side. Her eyes shot to Kurt, watching him. He ignored the bed, going to the dresser and pulling out some clothing.  
He turned to her, unable to look her in the eye. “I will… I will go to the shower… I’m going to take a shower and when I come back, that’s when you will see the true me…” Liesel looked at him in question. “That is when you will not be attracted to me,” he told her. His eyes stayed on the ground as he made his way to the bathroom. He paused just before the door and tilted his head toward her. “Make yourself comfortable, it can take a little while, sometimes…”  
Liesel waited until the door closed and she was sure that he wasn’t immediately coming back before she looked for a place to sit. She went to the desk and pulled out the chair, but felt exposed at the way it made her unable to look at the door he’d disappeared behind. She tried to turn it, but there was no reason for it to be that direction, except to stare at the door, and it made her feel a little like she was an audience waiting for him to appear.  
She put the chair back and looked around again. The only other place to sit was the bed. It seemed an inherent danger to her, and she looked around, stepping close to the door to make sure that the water was running in the room. It was and she felt a little more comfortable, besides, the bed really was the best place to sit; the side was facing the bathroom door, so it wasn’t like she was just staring at it waiting for him to come out, that was just the direction she had to sit…  
Kurt slowly washed the makeup from his skin. He watched as the water turned from skin color to clear and started rubbing soap on the other arm.  
He had expected his imaginary Liesel to be waiting in the shower where she always seemed to be, but she wasn’t. It seemed that with the real Liesel in his room, the image that tortured him didn’t need to be there.  
The water had turned clear again and he looked up to the spray to wash his face.  
This was the last time he was going to see Liesel, he was sure. He just hoped that she didn’t hurt herself as she ran away.  
The memory of her helping him put his contact in his eye came to mind, and a small hope sprang up. “ _Nein_ ,” he murmured to himself. “Don’t be stupid. Having different eyes is one thing, being blue, with a tail, looking like a demon is something else entirely.”  
The water was clear again, but he couldn’t bring himself to get out and say goodbye to Liesel, so he started washing his whole body.  
Liesel sat on the edge of the bed, poised to spring up and run away, but after a while, she relaxed. She didn’t know what he meant by saying he was going to show her his “true self” but after this long in the shower, it was becoming less likely to her that he was going to open the door and do something horrible to her.  
She looked around the room, thinking that it looked very normal for a priest’s room. The reminder that he was a priest hit her, and made her feel a little out of bounds, like she was in a place she wasn’t supposed to be, and probably wasn’t, but like a stubborn child, she wouldn’t go if there was hope she could get over Kurt and not be a danger to him and his eternal soul, or hers, if his church was right.  
She started humming, the words of the song flowing through her mind. ‘Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman. Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you, Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't! Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout-’  
Liesel's thoughts were cut off as the door to the bathroom opened. She looked up, straightening a little. She didn’t see anything but the door and open space for a moment, and wondered if he’d washed away everything. Maybe he was a ghost instead of a mutant? She shook her head at the stupid thought. He wasn’t coming out, that was the answer.  
She bit her nail, looking at the door to the hall. Did he just want her to leave? Was he telling her to go without speaking? Or was he nervous because of whatever it was he thought would make her suddenly lose attraction to him?  
There was a quiet sound of clearing a throat and Liesel’s head went to the source of the noise. She was startled because she hadn't heard anyone approaching, but there he was.  
Her eyes traveled up feet, two toes showing, like his hands, pants, chest, arms, face, hair. His face was better defined without all of the extra bulk of the makeup, and blue, as was the rest of him, except his hair, which was black, and his eyes, which she remembered were yellow, but weren’t looking at her.  
Kurt stared at the floor as Liesel’s eyes moved over him, waiting quietly for her to stand and leave. He’d taken in a shirt with him, but had decided to show her just how far his mutation went.  
Liesel’s eyes went back down slowly, noticing pointed ears on the way to his chest. A tail moved nervously behind him, but her eyes were helplessly drawn back to his chest.  
Which was bare.  
And well muscled.  
Far more than any priest’s had the right to be, she was sure.  
Her breath started to become a pant as she stood from the bed. She was vaguely aware that her cheeks had heated and that she was moving toward him. His deliciously muscled chest was taking up her view.  
Kurt closed his eyes as she stood. There she went, leaving his life forever. He should just take a breath and be happy for her. She wouldn’t be torn apart by guilt that she liked him and that it was so wrong.  
He jumped as something touched his chest, and looked down to see Liesel standing in front of him, her hand starting to move up and down against his fur. Her cheeks were pink, her lips parted, and her chest moving as she quickly cycled through air.  
Liesel’s eyes were focused on the wall of tempting muscle before her. She’d started thinking that he wouldn’t come in and do something horrible to her, but she had been wrong.  
He’d come into the room, showed her what he really looked like, and now she wanted him more.  
His soft fur was inviting her to press various parts of herself against it, mostly nude…  
“Liesel,” Kurt whispered, and her eyes turned up to look into his. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes made it obvious why; they were flushed with desire.  
He was costume and disguise free, feeling rather naked in front of her, and she was staring at him, wanting him, her hand touching him… Her lips begging to be kissed…  
Kurt moved slowly, giving her a chance to run, but his arms surrounded her, his hand going to the back of her head as he lowered his to meet her lips.  
Liesel’s eyes closed as his lips touched hers. Her lips opened readily when his asked, and her hand slid up his chest, moving along his shoulder to bury her fingers in his hair. It was still wet, but felt like it would be soft when dry.  
Kurt’s tongue went deeper, pulling a moan from her, and he nearly lost it. His other hand tightened on her, pulling her tighter against him, and she pressed closer to help. Her hands were rubbing over him, making his brain cloud, and his body stiffen.  
Liesel felt something hard pressing against her above her hip, but she was too distracted by the wonderful flavor of Kurt’s mouth, and the velvety softness of his fur against her hands.  
Kurt’s tail slid up her leg, picking up her thigh and squeezing as it lifted so he could press against her heat.  
He was hard against her soft spot, and Liesel, pulled back, but his lips found hers again, still gentle and kind, but hungry. Liesel, pulled back, and sheepishly murmured, “not so hard…”  
“I’m sorry,” Kurt told her, pulling his tail back so she was standing on both feet, but it was still squeezing her thigh. “Is that ok?” He asked as he kissed down her throat.  
She tried to say yes, but moaned instead.  
Kurt’s hands slid down her waist, picking her up and sitting her on the edge of his bed. His knee was between her thighs as he kept kissing her, and they leaned until she was laying on the bed.  
Kurt’s kisses drifted down her neck and to her cleavage, which she tried to keep hidden at the church, but his hands slid up her body to stroke, pressing her breasts against the sides of his face as he kissed them. “Liesel,” he groaned, and the rough German accent of his voice saying her name made her arch to him.  
He started murmuring to her in German, but most of it was too muffled by her body to be heard. He had made it to her hips, kissing around those as well, and was on the way back up, just under her breasts again when she looked down at him.  
Her eyes were hazed with desire, and his probably were, too, but she couldn’t see them. She was gasping as he moved back up her body, pressing against her.  
Behind Kurt, Liesel saw his rosary hanging on it’s stand, above his bible. His lips had reached her chest, again giving love to her breasts, but he was almost to her neck, now, as clarity flashed in her mind. “Wait,” she suddenly said.  
Kurt’s gaze shot to her face. “ _Was?_ ”  
“We- we can’t-” She told him.  
He just looked her in the eye, trying to understand.  
She sat up, pushing him back. “I- We can’t, you’re a priest- I’m going to go to Hell for tempting a priest-”  
“A priest in training,” he told her.  
“What?” She asked.  
“I am only in training, I have not been ordained, yet,” he told her.  
“Wh-what difference does that make?” She asked. “You’re still a priest to be- We’re in the church, oh my God, I’m making out with a priest in a church!” She hissed in horror.  
Kurt stood as she did. “Liesel-”  
“I can’t- Oh my God, I can’t believe I- I-”  
Kurt stepped closer, his hands going to her shoulders. “Liesel, stop, I- I don’t know why this is happening either, but-”  
“No,” she told him. “I know why; something is wrong with me. I’m wrong, broken, messed up in the head-”  
“Because you want a mutant?” He asked numbly.  
“Kurt, we’re in a church, it’s because you’re a priest,” she told him, shaking her head in confusion.  
Kurt looked away, clenching his jaw. Why had he even thought that?  
He looked back to her as she picked up her coat, which had been shed some time in the frenzied kissing. “Liesel, wait,” he asked. “It’s been quite a while for me, I didn’t mean to go so fast- I need to apologize,” he told her.  
“But- It’s me, I’m the one who- I should be apologizing- I’m sorry, Kurt, I didn’t mean to- Please forgive me, and maybe ask God for me, too…”  
“Liesel-” Kurt’s hand reached for her, but she dodged it.  
“I- I have to go, I can’t stay here, I’ll just cause more trouble for you,” she told him, hurrying from the room.  
Kurt stood with his arm outstretched, watching her go. His fingers clenched into a fist. He turned to his bed, feeling a fury rising in the pit of his stomach. “WHY?!” He demanded at the ceiling. “Why did you make it this way?!”  
He turned to his desk, sweeping his bible and rosary off in one swipe, glaring as they landed on the floor. His hands went to his head and his fingers tightened in his hair. He fell to his knees next to the bed and buried his face in the mattress.  
Oh Father, who art in Heaven, why have you forsaken me? He asked in his mind. Why did you give me someone that I can’t stand to be without, when I am allowed to be with no one, by your law?!

The next morning, Kurt paused in his pacing, stopping in front of the church office door. He stared at it, before opening it and peeking in. “Father Connor, do you have a moment?”  
“Of course, Kurt, please, sit,” he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk as he took in Kurt’s makeup free face and civilian clothing. “What can I be of assistance with?”  
Kurt sat and looked around uncomfortably, tugging his shirt. “I have failed the church,” Kurt confessed quietly.  
“How so?” Father Connor asked. “I have- I have developed inappropriate and impure thoughts and feelings for-” Kurt had to take a breath before continuing, trying to keep Liesel’s honor and good name intact and dirt free. “For a woman.” Father Connor didn’t say anything. “I have sinned against God, my body, and her thought…” Still there was silence from across the desk. “I have coveted her, her body, her voice, her sweet kindness…” Kurt dared to look up at Father Connor, expecting to see a horrified, disgusted expression, so the nonplussed look on his face startled him. He searched the face for some hint of condemnation, and when he found none, couldn’t help but ask, “why are you so collected?”  
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked.  
“Father, I have sinned, hugely, and you are looking at me like I have told you the sky is blue.”  
Father Connor smiled at him. “Kurt, I have been trying to help you through this for months, and now you have finally come to accept how you feel. It’s not a surprise, it’s a relief that you did so before you couldn’t.”  
“What are you talking about, Father Connor?” Kurt asked in confusion.  
“I saw it before you saw yourself, I suppose,” Father Connor chuckled. “I have been trying to make you understand for the last few months, Kurt. Understand your feelings, how lucky you are to have found them, her, half the world away, that maybe you should be doing something else-”  
“I know I should be doing something else, Father,” Kurt interrupted. “But, I can’t stop thinking of her.”  
Father Connor let him finish his thought before explaining. “Something else to serve the church.” Kurt looked at him in confusion. “Kurt, you came to me for advice, didn’t you?” Kurt nodded. “The best advice I can give you in this situation is a quote; to burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.”  
“What part of the bible is that from?” Kurt asked, not recognizing it.  
“It isn’t. It is from a poet, Federico Garcia Lorca.” They were silent for a moment before Father Connor continued. “Kurt it is admirable to devote yourself to the church, to give up yourself to a higher calling and serve God in such a way, but I think He has been trying to tell you for a long time that your calling is elsewhere. You have just been so focused that you weren’t listening. There are many ways to serve God and the church, but this, it may not be yours.”  
“I want to serve, it’s an honor that I strive for,” Kurt told him. “I’m devoted, to God and the church-”  
“Kurt, maybe you should take a few days,” Father Connor told him.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I want you to stop doing your priesthood duties for a few days. Think about what we’ve spoken of here; love, how lucky you are to have found it, what you think and want and what God really wants for you, how you can best serve Him.”  
“Yes, Father.” Kurt bowed his head, feeling a little lighter as he stood and left the office.  
As Kurt stepped out of the church and looked over the snowy lawns, he saw the holes from Liesel running away the evening before.  
Her beautiful, shy, slightly sly smile flashed in his mind and he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. She always smiled slightly to the side, as though asking if who she was gracing the beauty with got an inside joke she was making.  
He opened his eyes, looking up to the sky. It was a calm day, blue and bright, if cold, and he wondered what he should do with it. He remembered that the city choir was singing in the park that night, and Liesel was going to be there, she’d even excitedly told him that she’d gotten a solo or two.  
Kurt shook his head. If he needed to stay away from the church to think, he needed to stay away from her, too. He decided to go to the X-Mansion, and teleported, appearing after a few jaunts.  
He hesitated at the door, unsure whether he should knock, but feeling strange, since this had been his home. The door in front of him opened and Logan stood in the opening. He looked Kurt over and turned, leaving the door open as he walked toward a room to the side of the entrance hall.  
Kurt stepped in and closed the door, only to be greeted by Professor Xavier. “Hello, Kurt. It’s nice to see you again after so long.”  
“ _Hallo_ , Professor,” Kurt greeted back.  
The Professor’s brow crinkled and a line appeared between. “You’re filled with such turmoil. What has happened?” Kurt hesitated, looking around the hall. “Come, let’s speak in my office,” Xavier said, turning and wheeling toward said room, leaving Kurt to follow.

… … … 

Liesel took a breath, looking up at the full church. It was beautiful, candle lit, decorated with greenery along the walls and pews. Red and white flowers were everywhere, showing that they had Christmas spirit, too.  
She looked up as Father Connor raised the baton, pulling in another breath to prepare for the song. It echoed so beautifully, and she closed her eyes, listening to the wonderful sounds of the music.  
It was, for lack of a better word, her happy place. Singing strong, composed pieces that filled people with joy and awe. It made her feel useful, needed, important, pure, happy, strong…  
All of the things she’d needed to feel when she was growing up, but couldn’t because of her situation.  
Too soon it was over, and the choir sat. Father Connor made his way back up to the altar and continued the service, while Liesel quietly moved to the office, grabbed her coat, and snuck through the office and out through the other door, down the hall and to the side door that led to the parking lot.  
She pulled her coat closer against the cold, making her way to her car as thoughts filled her mind.  
Where was Kurt? Where had he gone? He hadn’t come to the morning’s practice, and still hadn’t shown up for the mass. She’d tried to ask Father Connor discreetly, but he had just smiled, giving no answer.  
She turned on the car, waiting for a few minutes for it to warm up before she put it in gear and started toward home.

Kurt watched as a familiar car pulled up to the curb. He ducked a little deeper into the shadows nervously.  
Despite the anxiety he felt at the moment, when he’d thought about what Father Connor had told him to, it had been the easiest thing he’d ever come to the conclusion of. Talking things over with Professor Xavier had helped, as well, and he wondered why it had taken him so long to think about it.  
He watched Liesel exit the car and hesitated. It had been easy to get her address from Logan, who had pretty much pushed him out the door when he’d told him what he planned on doing, but he didn’t want to startle the woman walking toward him.  
Liesel watched the ground as she stepped through the snow piled next to the curb, making sure of her footing as she pulled the right key for the door to her fingers.  
“Liesel,” a soft voice called to her from the shadows of her porch and she looked up, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. The owner of the voice stepped forward, letting light spill over himself to show blue skin bundled in cold weather clothing.  
“Kurt,” she whispered before stepping forward and hesitating. “Wh- where have you been?”  
Kurt looked to the ground to the side of the porch. “I went to the park last night…”  
“What?” She asked.  
Kurt looked up to meet her eyes. “I went to the performance at the park last night.”  
Liesel blushed, realizing that he would have heard her sing alone and not blending in with the group around.  
“You have a beautiful voice,” he told her. She made a flattered noise, shifting from foot to foot. “You act as though no one has ever told you that before,” he commented.  
“Well…” Liesel walked up the stairs, eyes still trained on the ground as she opened the door and reached in to turn on the inside lights before she closed the door most of the way and stopped, hesitating to leave him despite knowing she should.  
“Have they?”  
She shook her head. “It’s just an impractical thing that takes up time…”  
Kurt looked at her in confusion. She loved music and singing so much, it didn’t make any sense to him why she would say that. “It’s beautiful when you do it,” he told her, and he saw her cheeks darken.  
“Kurt- Father Wagner-”  
Kurt took her hands and held them in his. “Just Kurt,” he told her.  
“Why are you here?” She asked without responding or looking at him.  
“It’s very cold out here, would it be ok if we spoke inside?” He asked.  
“I-I’m not sure that’s a good idea-”  
“It will be ok,” he told her with a smile.  
“I-it’s hard to- think that with what happened…”  
“It will be alright, trust me,” he told her.  
“I- How can you be sure?” She asked as she looked up at him.  
“I’ve spoken with Father Connor,” he told her.  
She was still confused, but he was right, it was cold, nearly freezing, outside, so she pushed the door open and entered, pausing, but stepping aside for him to enter as well.  
Kurt looked around, taking in all of the Christmas decorations.  
The entrance was a small space leading to a hall that lead around stairs to a front room. There were lights everywhere, glowing in the dimness of rooms without the lights on yet. She turned off the entrance light, and the white walls were washed with color, enough soft light coming from them to illuminate the way.  
Liesel walked in front of him, pausing at the bottom of the stairs, which were the left wall of the hall they’d just come down, and in front of the large, arching doorway to the front room. She turned the light on and gestured for him to sit on the couch across the room, asking, “would you like something to drink?”  
Kurt walked into the room, turning to her. “Whatever you have handy,” he told her, wanting to have the conversation that was waiting, but nervous about it at the same time. She turned and continued past the stars into the kitchen, and he looked around the room.  
It was smaller, not large, but not tiny; enough room for the couch, tv, bookcase, table with the radio, and tree with enough space that you could sit around on the floor and play a smaller board game.  
The tree was glowing with lights, but not all from the strands around it; they gleamed off of the ornaments, changing their reflected lights into even more colors of the rainbow. Small things were on it, bells, balls, musical notes, jingle bells with ribbon on them, sparkling deer and snowflakes, birds, strands of what looked like pearls. It was amazing to behold, and on top of the tree was a sparkling snowflake, the design of an angel showing in the blue and white outlines.  
Kurt looked to the side, seeing a nervous looking Liesel standing next to him with a glass in her hand. “It’s beautiful,” he told her. She handed him the glass and looked away in embarrassment. Kurt moved to the couch, sitting down and waiting for her to join him. She was slow, hesitating, and sat far away from him. It stung, but he understood her hesitation.  
“Liesel,” he started, setting his glass on the table next to the arm of the couch. She glanced at him, but her eyes focused on his hands, then his knees, then his shoulder, but moved to the space between them. Kurt took a breath. “Liesel, I spoke with Father Connor.” She didn’t say anything, so he continued. “It’s ok, if-” He paused. “You- you don’t have to worry about it being a sin that you like me…”  
Liesel’s eyes shot to him. “Did it suddenly become not a sin to be interested in a priest?”  
“I’m not a priest,” he told her.  
“Priest in training- whatever. It’s close enough…”  
Kurt smiled. “Liesel, I’m not in training anymore.”  
“Then, you are a priest,” she said.  
He shook his head. “I’m not. I realized that while noble, it is not my calling.”  
Liesel looked worried. “You- you mean I-”  
“No,” Kurt told her, moving forward to take her hands in his again. “No, it’s nothing you did. It was just not right for me.”  
“B-but you were nearly done- years-”  
Kurt kissed the back of her hands. “I can’t say that I’m not glad I did it, because I met you, but it was not where I was supposed to be.”  
Liesel looked up at him uncertainly. “Wh-where are you supposed to be?” She asked. She was afraid that he’d say with her, and she knew it would be something that was clouding his judgment, that he’d made the biggest mistake…  
“With the X-Men, fighting those who endanger the lives of others.”  
She let out a breath of relief. “But- are you sure, do you think they’ll let you join, just because you’re a mutant?”  
Kurt chuckled. “I worked with them before trying to become a priest,” he admitted.  
“Oh…” She blushed as she thought that that explained his delicious muscles, and her eyes drifted to his chest.  
Kurt became more serious. “Liesel.” He leaned closer, and her eyes looked up to his. “I- I have a confession…”  
“Too bad we’re not at the church,” she murmured softly. Kurt smiled, and Liesel bit her lip. There were those fangs she had felt, but not seen.  
“I have something I have to tell you, to come clean on…” Her eyes lifted to his.  
“What’s that?”  
Kurt hesitated, unable to push the words out for a moment. “I... You’re so beautiful-”  
Liesel let out a snort. “That’s hardly something for you to confess,” she told him.  
“Well, listen,” he told her seriously, and she could tell he was unaffected by her humor. “You are so beautiful,” he paused as he saw her cheeks pinken. “So beautiful that I- Ah…”  
She was looking at him in expectation, unsure of what he was about to say. She wasn’t the only one.  
“When we were in my room at the rectory-” Liesel’s cheeks flamed up and her eyes widened a little. “I have- been thinking of that, of doing that-” Kurt had to stop for a breath. “I have wanted to do that for a long time, months, actually…”  
“You- but… But…” Liesel stared at him, unable to voice her thoughts. “Not- specifically me,” she managed to ask/ say, thinking that after years of celibacy, he would eagerly want any woman.  
Kurt’s brow dipped and his face showed his uncertainty at her self doubt. “Liesel, you were not the only one attracted to someone they were not supposed to be, who struggled with it and felt the pain,” he told her.  
Her eyes widened and her jaw fell, letting her lips part in surprise. “Ah, I- but…”  
“I’ve just had more practice hiding,” he told her. She looked away, swallowing thickly at his admission.  
“You were thinking of me…” She mumbled.  
Kurt’s hand left hers to direct her face back toward him. “As much as you were thinking of me,” he told her.  
Her cheeks darkened, and she pulled back. “What makes you think I was thinking of you so much?” She asked.  
Kurt chuckled again. “Well, aside from you telling me two days ago… I have something else to confess…” He told her.  
“Two days ago? I don’t remember saying anything like that,” she told him.  
“You said that you wanted me, but couldn’t have me, and you had to stop… You don’t have to stop, now, Liesel,” he told her.  
She bit her lip. Had that slipped out during her tear filled ramble? “What about the other thing?” She asked to change the subject.  
He looked confused. “That I have to confess?” He asked after a moment, and she nodded. Kurt’s hand found her other one again, and both of his tightened, afraid that she’d run away. “I… I was in the confessional…”  
She looked at him, waiting for him to continue, confused about what he was talking about.  
“Ah, when you- Liesel, it wasn’t Father Connor…”  
Liesel gasped as her eyes shot open, her hands somehow slipping from his and covering her gaping mouth. “Y-you-”  
Kurt nodded, holding still otherwise, not wanting to send her running.  
“Oh my- You were the one-” She stood and stared down at him. “You were there- I told you- You knew this whole time?!”  
Kurt lifted his hands, trying to look unthreatening. “Liesel, I-”  
She went to the table and drained the glass that he’d left there. She watched as her hand put it back, standing for another few moments before flopping back onto the couch.  
Kurt slowly moved closer. “Liesel…”  
She looked up at him, slight fear and anxiety showing in her eyes.  
He didn’t want her to look at him like that; as though she was afraid of what he’d think when she’d accepted so openly. “Liesel,” his hand drifted to her jaw and he leaned toward her. She didn’t move, and their lips touched. Kurt tried to be chaste, sweet, but when she was touching him, those thoughts were the furthest from his mind. Her lips parted under his, and his tongue entered, exploring the space it hadn’t been in for two days as though it were a new place. Her hands were around his shoulders, smoothing over his shirt, the back of his neck, into his hair.  
Kurt’s tail wrapped around her, haphazardly around her back, hip, and butt, the tip squeezing at her thigh. His hand left her side and went to her leg, shifting it around him so she was facing him and he was between her thighs.  
Liesel felt her leg hanging over Kurt’s thigh, but didn’t think anything of it until his other hand slid down her side, moving to her other thigh, gripping and starting to slide her down the couch. She was laying on her back, one leg over him, the other in his hand as he kissed her senseless while kneeling over her.  
It felt nice, warm, wanting, shared desire-  
She moaned as he kissed down her throat to her cleavage. His hands moved over her breasts through her shirt, and she arched a yes as he kept moving down. He got to her stomach and pushed her shirt up, kissing her bare skin, now. His fingers gripped, then moved down to her hips as he kissed up toward her ribs.  
Liesel’s hand pulled at him, catching on his shirt. He went with it back up, but moved his shoulders and pulled out of it, thinking that’s what she wanted before dipping back down to her lips, and hey, she wasn’t complaining as her hands now moved over his well muscled, softly furred chest and shoulders.  
Kurt’s hand slid down her side to the leg over his hip, pulling it a little tighter as he pressed against her.  
Liesel’s body flinched, tightening every muscle and pulling back as it had a moment of panic at the memory of her stepbrother.  
Kurt stopped and pulled back, his lips about to ask the question on his face, but she put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him back down to her. She eagerly kissed him back, and pressed against him, but he was still slower in responding.  
Liesel didn’t want the memory to haunt her; he wasn’t her stepbrother, he wouldn’t do that, he’d stop if she asked, wouldn’t laugh as she begged for him to stop-  
Stop, she told herself. No thinking about it.  
Her stepbrother had done something bad to her, but Kurt was not him.  
She liked Kurt, wanted him, and enjoyed the feeling of him…  
But maybe she should let him know, before there was an issue…  
Liesel pulled back, and Kurt did too, to give her more space.  
“Are you alright?” He asked softly.  
“Yeah,” she nodded. “But… I- I haven’t-” She stopped as Kurt’s mouth lifted in a smile.  
“I thought you might be a virgin,” he told her confidentially. She looked hesitant and he leaned farther back. “What?”  
“I-I’m not… Technically speaking…” He blinked at her in confusion. “But I haven’t ever… wanted to- when-”  
Kurt’s eyes widened and he jumped back a little. “Liesel- Are you saying- When- Liesel…” His eyes were filled with concern.  
“No,” she told him, pulling him back. “I don’t want to stop- It was a long time ago.” Kurt still wouldn’t come back down to her. “I- I just wanted you to know… Incase… if I suddenly- have a problem…” She whispered.  
“Liesel…” He breathed. He leaned down, putting his cheek on her chest and holding her against him. “I’m sorry- _Ich bin ein Kolossal Arsch_ -” He was mentally kicking himself. He’d thought she was just nervous because she was a virgin, but even in his room, she’d told him he was being too hard when he just pushed against her there.  
“Kurt,” she pulled at him again, and he looked up to her. “That’s not why I told you.”  
Kurt’s fingers smoothed down her cheek. “Liesel… If I’m not hurting you-”  
“Because I don’t know what will happen if we… make it that far…” Her cheeks were dark at her words.  
“That far?” He asked. “You mean you want-”  
Liesel smacked his shoulder in frustration. “Kurt, you were in the confessional booth when I said how I felt, but I haven’t even been able to make it this far with anyone before; yes, I want to… I just don’t know if I’ll… I don’t know…”  
Kurt sat up and pulled her with him. She looked at him with dashed hope in her eyes, but he smiled at her. The look in her eyes turned to question as he twisted, pulling her so that her back was to the arm of the couch, one leg behind him, pressed into the couch, one leg over his lap. He leaned closer, his fingers trailing along her jaw for a moment before moving so his palm cupped her cheek. “May I?” He asked softly against her lips. Her lips parted, and she bumped her lips against his, not quite a kiss, but he took it as the yes it was and took over, their tongues soon tangling together again.  
Liesel realized why he had moved to this position as she felt his hand on her back; there was plenty of room for her to pull back if she needed to. She didn’t want to, and her hands tightened around his shoulders, pulling him closer as she told him that silently.  
Kurt was trying to be extra gentle, but still, her being in his arms made that hard as his body made its demands known. His hands moved along her sides, pulling her closer against him and squeezing all of her softness. One hand moved up, edging around her breast, but soon that wasn’t enough and it cupped the soft mound, kneading and stroking. Liesel moaned, and Kurt felt the fire in his gut get hotter. His lips moved down, nuzzling and kissing her breast through her shirt as his hand worked, making her moan more.  
Liesel’s hands tightened in Kurt’s hair and on his shoulder as she pulled him closer against her and moaned. Her body arched up, pressing against Kurt, his body pushing against hers in response, and suddenly, it was too hot and she had too many clothes in the way of his hands.  
Kurt’s hands moved up her stomach and sides as he pushed her shirt up and out of the way, seeing a red and white candy cane striped underwire bra in his way. He pushed her shirt up further, kissing the top of her breasts where they were bare, his fingers starting to pull the cups down. Liesel’s hands only egged him on as they slid over him, her nails dragging through his fur as she moaned and panted to him. Her body was pressing against him, making his respond in kind, but as he nearly got to her nipple, she pushed him back.  
Kurt looked up at her, his eyes hot with desire, need voiced there that his body was echoing, and a little pain that she was making him stop. Whenever she had pushed him back, it had always been to stop, and with this new information come to light, he was sure that it was time to stop again, but his body was refusing to back off of hers far enough.  
Liesel, climbed out from under and around him, standing and letting her shirt fall back down. Kurt tried to reel his breathing and body back in, but couldn’t stop looking up at her. She held out her hand, and Kurt took it, not quite sure what she was doing.  
Liesel walked to the wall and turned off the main light before going up the stairs. Kurt followed behind her, still holding her hand, wondering, hoping, which room they were going to now.  
At the top of the stairs there was a small landing, large enough for decorations and walking around, but not quite the size of a room. There were three doors that he could see, and she turned in a u to get to the one behind them. When he stepped in behind her, he saw a dimly lit, soft colored room with a large dresser in front of the window on the opposite wall, tv stand against the wall opposite a large bed, and another beautifully decorated tree to his left.  
Liesel let go of his hand, closing the door and moving toward the bed, slower, now, seeming to have gotten a little nervous.  
Kurt smiled and slowly followed her. “You really like Christmas,” he commented.  
“Yes…” She sounded like she was blushing, and Kurt’s smile widened, wanting to pull her into his arms and kiss her at her cuteness.  
She sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor, her hands showing that she had indeed gotten nervous. Kurt sat next to her on the bed, but left space so he didn’t crowd her. “Liesel,” he said softly, and she turned to look at him. “It’s been a long while, ah, since I’ve been with a woman- obviously- but…” His hand cupped her cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, so, please, let me know if you want to stop.”  
Liesel’s heart was pounding in her chest. She was nervous, excited, a little nauseous, but mostly she just wanted him to keep touching her. Her eyes went down to his chest and her hand moved across it, her fingers sliding across his velvet furred skin. She looked back up to his eyes and smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him. Kurt’s arm wrapped around her back, and his tail went to her leg. His body hadn’t cooled nearly at all with the possibility of her body imminent. His other hand went to her side, trying to start slowly again, but Liesel turned toward him, her hands running over his shoulders and chest. Her hand went to tangle in his hair, pulling his lips closer. He went with her hand, pressing forward, and she went back with his lean until they were laying across the bed.  
Kurt’s hand slid down her side, pulling her close against him, then down to her hip, squeezing the curve before it slid around to her butt and squeezing again. Her leg wrapped around his, but they were mostly off the bed and it was uncomfortable, so they scooted onto the bed properly as they kissed. Liesel gasped against his lips as her hand moved from his neck to his side above his jeans, running her nails along his skin and making him groan as her hand slid up behind his shoulder.  
Kurt’s hand tightened on her hip again as he pressed against her. His lips trailed down her throat, sucking gently as he left open mouthed kisses in his wake. She arched as he got to her chest again, and excitement bubbled in her stomach at the thought of him touching her there again. His hands cupped her, kneading and stroking, but soon lowering to go under her shirt to slide up along her stomach.  
Why was her shirt on, again? By the way her skin tingled when he touched her bare stomach, it would probably feel better if it was off when he got back up to her chest. She arched and twisted under him, and Kurt pulled back, but his worry faded as she tugged off her shirt and tossed it away, letting her hair spill all over the pillows beneath her. His lips found hers as though magnetized, his hand burying in her silky soft hair as the other moved to the cloth covered breast and began making her more secure in her thinking that no shirt was better.  
His hand trailed down her stomach lightly, making her press against him to feel the touch. His hand slid around her hip, squeezing and stroking, feeling the waist of her pants slipping down a little, and he was sure that his tail had something to do with that. Kurt’s lips left hers again as they traveled down her throat to her chest, kissing around the tops of her breasts, his hand leaving her hair to push the bottom of one breast in an attempt to uncover more tender flesh.  
Liesel gasped and arched, her fingers digging into his shoulders as her leg tried to wrap around his again, but her pants had moved down quite a bit, and the seams made it difficult. She made a noise in irritation and began shifting around, her legs working their way out of her pants with the help of Kurt’s tail. What a useful, helpful thing it was turning out to be for her. Taking off her pants was also put in the good ideas column, as Kurt’s hand that had been on her hip slid down the back of her thigh and tingles of electricity and excitement shot up through her body at the touch.  
Kurt’s lips started moving lower, kissing down her stomach to her hips, lingering there while he laid with her leg over his side instead of his leg, then down to her thigh, making her gasp as she found out that it was a pretty tender stretch of skin when he touched her there. He slowly made his way back up, stopping again at her breasts, nuzzling and kneading, trying to find her nipple through the thick fabric, ending up teasing it.  
Liesel was lost to the world, she couldn’t remember anything about it, not that she was trying, but it helped explain a little as she wondered why women had started wearing bras in the first place if they could have this nice feeling happening to them. She reached around herself and unhooked the contraption, looking down at Kurt’s face as he realized the fabric had become loose. Her fingers slid the strap down and his fingers slipped under the wire, taking it and helping her get the thing off to throw away from them.  
Kurt’s eyes went to her breasts, roaming over them, and her cheeks heated. He was just staring, and she was about to nervously ask if something was wrong, but he leaned down and placed an open mouth kiss around her nipple, his tongue licking as he pulled back and gave it a few more.  
This piece of clothing removal might have been dangerous, she reflected as her eyelids closed, her eyes rolling back, while a moan was pulled from her lips. It had felt good through the fabric of her bra, but bared there was nothing to dampen the insane amount of feeling, letting electricity and heat explode along her skin where he touched.  
Kurt’s hands were massaging and stroking, kneading and rolling as his lips moved from one to the other. Liesel moaned, feeling his tail squeezing her thigh as he pressed against her, but her head was starting to get light, her hand drifting from his shoulder as she arched. Kurt looked up at her. “Are you alright, Liesel?” He asked, not able to convince his body to pull very far back from hers, his hands still on and his lips still close to her breasts.  
She looked down at him, a hot look in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said softly.  
Kurt kissed her nipples again, his tongue sneaking out to lick them, and he watched her lids drift down as a soft moan left her lips. He started kissing her stomach, moving down to her hips, his hands going to her panties. Liesel bit her lip as he toyed with the band, kissing and trailing his tongue around as his fingers moved around, stroking her hips and slowly moving the panties down, making sure that she was still ok with this.  
A needy moan left her lips as she arched, and Kurt couldn’t wait to hear more. He climbed back up to her lips and made love to her mouth with his. His hands slowly pushed her panties down, his fingers brushing over the bare curve of her ass as his other hand teased her breast. She moaned and arched to him, her hand going down to help push her panties down. His tail got the message and took it from there, tossing the scrap of fabric behind him.  
Liesel was so warm, Kurt’s soft fur rubbing against her naked skin, his body warming hers. His kiss started trailing down her throat, pausing to give each breast some attention and each nipple a loving tongue bath before he continued down. As his breath blew across her stomach, Liesel suddenly realized that she was naked, and he could see all of her. She blushed, and bit her lip, her hand going to her face.  
Kurt looked up at her and his tail gently pulled her hand away. “There is no need for that,” he told her. “If you need to stop, just let me know.”  
She shook her head. “No, I’m just…” She blushed harder. “Nervous…”  
Kurt smiled and kissed her belly button. “I know a way to help you relax,” he told her, continuing his trail down. He kissed her; that needy, wet part that liked to press against him. She gasped and he looked up to her, but she didn’t say stop, so he kissed her there again. She let out a breath, and he decided that she was enjoying it as she moved towards where his fingers were lightly trailing along her lips.  
Liesel grabbed at the blankets beneath her as Kurt’s hand cupped her and he kissed her again. Why was he staying down there for so long? Her eyes sprang open as she realized what he was doing. Nervousness filled her at the idea of what he might see; that she might be marked, and he might think she was ruined. “I- uh, Kurt…”  
He looked up, concern in his eyes. “Are you ok?”  
“Y-yes… I just… I might be scarred… there…” She told him.  
Kurt pressed his forehead against her thigh for a moment as he gritted his teeth. That bastard who had hurt her… He took a breath and smiled gently as he looked up to her. “I’ll just have to kiss them better,” he told her.  
Liesel felt her cheeks heat. “I, um… Ok…”  
“Are you sure?” Kurt asked. She nodded, and he lowered his head, kissing her again, moving down to her sensitive lips as his fingers stroked over them. Liesel felt strange with Kurt between her thighs, and she took a deep breath to try and relax. When his fingers gently spread her, she felt her breath hesitate. His breath caressed her, and then, softly, he leaned forward and his tongue moved against her. Her eyes widened and she grabbed the blanket beneath her. He licked again, and she didn’t jump as bad, but still was startled. Kurt licked again, then looked up at her face, feeling her stiff body language.  
He climbed back to her mouth, giving her a soft kiss. “Liesel, do you want to stop?”  
She shook her head. “N-no… but… Are you sure you want to be down there?” She asked quietly.  
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked.  
“I- I don’t know…” She blushed.  
Kurt smiled and kissed her softly again. “Here’s why I do,” he told her. “It will make you feel good, from what I’ve heard, your moans are sexy, and this should make more, and only a swine would take a lady without caring for her pleasure, especially with one this beautiful in front of them.” He kissed her again, this time letting their tongues meet.  
Liesel looked confused as he pulled away, looking at his lips.  
“What is it?” He asked.  
“You- you taste different,” she told him.  
Kurt tried not to laugh. “I taste like you,” he told her.  
Her eyes widened slightly. “Like- like I do… down there?”  
“Yes.”  
“I thought- I thought it would taste different…”  
“Like what?” Kurt asked.  
“I don’t know, sour, bitter… gross…”  
Kurt’s lips lifted in a seductive grin. “No, you taste sweet, and quite delicious. Another reason I want to be down there.” She blushed and looked away from his eyes, but his fingers tilted her chin back up. “If you’ll let me,” he told her. “If you’re comfortable.”  
“I- if you’re sure…”  
He kissed under her jaw. “Who wouldn’t want to eat a Christmas eve treat?” He teased, kissing back down her body. His tail laid across her hand, and he told her, “here, if you need to stop, just tug.”  
Liesel wrapped her hand around his tail, her fingers rubbing around to feel the soft fur. “Won’t it hurt?”  
“Not unless you try to pull it off,” he told her as he kissed her hip.  
When he licked again, Liesel took a breath, reminding herself that he wanted to be down there, and to not worry about if she tasted strange, since he’d said she was delicious. She blushed harder. He’d said she was sexy, but, she didn’t feel sexy, she felt awkward. Kurt’s lips pulled back and kissed around her thighs, back up to her heat, down and up one, then the other, making her get a little hotter, and when he went back and gave another lick, she gasped. He licked slowly a few times, trying to dial in where her sweet spot was, finding a tender area below her clit. He let his tongue rove, circling and licking up, and she seemed to be more relaxed. Kurt decided to break out something a little more advanced, licking above her clit then using the tip of his tongue to stroke just the end of the little nub.  
“Mmnn, oooohh,” Liesel moaned, and Kurt felt more confident now that she’d let him know she liked it. He licked over her clit again, making circles around it and then moved the back of his tongue down over the top. Liesel moaned again, and Kurt felt his cock jump, eager for more noises.  
Liesel gasped, feeling Kurt's warm breath on her as he licked. She could feel her cheeks get hotter as she realized that, even though she had been nervous, it really did feel great. Kurt's tongue flicked from side to side, and a moan pushed it's way from her mouth. He felt Liesel’s hand tighten on his tail, and it shot a jolt of feeling up his spine, making him groan. Liesel looked down at him, still flushed, but the eager way Kurt was licking and how he groaned against her made her realize that he wasn’t just saying he liked to be there, he actually liked it. She felt her heart beat even faster as the thought that she turned him on turned her on.  
Liesel wasn’t paying attention to the movements anymore, she couldn’t. Her mind had stopped giving her detailed reports of what he was doing, only giving her the important stuff; good, nice, oooo, yes… Some of these thoughts were repeated through her lips, and Kurt’s hips pressed against the mattress, excited beyond belief.  
Warm, she was so warm, so soft and warm, so beautiful and soft and warm, so sexy and beautiful and soft and warm, so-  
Kurt needed to hear her moan again. His hand tightened on her hip, making a gasp slip from her as he shifted. He reached up and his fingers touched her breast. They drifted over her until they found her nipple, then softly rubbed over it. The loud moan that left her was encouraging, and he took her nipple between his fingers, rolling it.  
Intense pressure filled Liesel’s stomach and her jaw clenched against the noise escaping. Her hand tightened around the blankets as the pressure built, and she suddenly wondered if she was going to survive with her brain function intact. Her muscles inside were pulling in, tightening her body, and she wasn’t sure what for until they threw her over the cliff.  
Liesel cried out beneath Kurt, and he pressed his tongue against her clit, lightly nuzzling her for a few moments. Her breath had started returning in gasps, and he moved to her thighs, kissing, licking and nibbling.  
When she had stopped convulsing, Kurt’s tongue ran along her inner thigh, going back to where he’d come from. His hands tightened around her thighs, and she moaned softly. Kurt licked his way to her clit, and her hips jerked and a gasp left her mouth as they connected.  
Liesel felt her body heating more, the breast he was playing with in particular as his fingers returned to tease and torment it. His tail slid through her hand a little so the tip could get to her other breast, wrapping around to squeeze it and flick the nipple. So much pleasure, she couldn’t think of a way to describe it, maybe being out in the cold and then sinking into a warm bubble bath with a cup of cocoa, but it was still not quite good enough to explain the warm pleasure filling her body at his touch.  
Soft moans were floating down to Kurt, fueling his desire. It was hard to ignore what his body was begging for, but he kept reminding himself that he’d have her soon enough, he just had to be patient. His tongue slid up her clit, around it and back and forth before running the underside down it, and he felt her thighs tremble. His fingers pinched the nipple they were playing with, rolling it and tugging gently, and her body lifted, her breast pressing into his hand as her heat pushed against him. Kurt needed her, his cock was starting to ache with desire. He kissed her clit, pulling it between his lips and pressing, making her give a cry. He groaned against her and it turned into an open mouth kiss, his tongue and lips running over and sucking gently as he pulled back, then leaned forward.  
Liesel’s body felt so amazing, she didn’t know how anything would ever top this, and was suddenly worried that she wouldn’t be able to ever feel anything that would compare, he’d ruin her. But what a way to go. Her hips arched up, and Kurt found a new place that made her legs shake. She let out a squeak, then another, then gasped, and cried out as she came again. Kurt pulled her hips against him, this time, sucking on her clit and groaning at the sexy cries leaving her lips.  
Liesel’s toes curled, her hands clenched around the blankets and Kurt’s tail, her head was thrown back, her body arching, sounds were coming from her throat, but ask her what they were and she couldn’t tell you.  
“Ahhhh- Kurt!” She cried. He moaned in reply, and the vibrations felt amazing.  
Kurt pulled back, kneeling and looking down over her with dark, desire filled eyes. Liesel wondered how she could still be turned on; she’d come twice thanks to Kurt’s skilled tongue, but her breasts still seemed to want to be touched, her throbbing, wet core was still excited for his touch. Kurt’s lips went to hers, and he kissed her passionately while his hand went down to where she was still convulsing. His finger ran down from her clit, pressing just above her entrance. Liesel’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, so he continued, letting his finger slip lower and press against her opening. She jumped, but kept kissing him, so he continued slowly, sinking in millimeter by millimeter until he was in to his first knuckle.  
Her grip tightened a little, so he stopped, waiting until she seemed more comfortable, then started pushing more. He paused again at his second knuckle feeling her fingers digging into his shoulders. “Liesel,” he asked against her lips. She made a questioning noise, and he kissed her. “I’ll move,” he told her, waiting for her to adjust to the idea before slowly sliding his finger in and out. Liesel panted a little, but didn’t respond otherwise. Kurt’s body decided that was the end, that’s all it could take, and his finger slipped out of the warm, wet softness. “Ready to try the real thing?” He asked, his tail curling around her hand as he unbuttoned his pants.  
“Yes, if it’s with you,” she told him.  
Kurt’s tail left her hand as it slipped out of the hole in his pants, but it returned as he chuckled. “You didn’t think I’d leave it to anyone else, did you?” He teased as he laid back down next to her. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him back down to her lips.  
“I’d hope not, after all the trouble and guilt I’ve felt for thinking of you like this.”  
“No guilt, now,” he told her, lifting her leg to pull it up over his hip. “Only the pleasure of being together.” They kissed again, tongues tangling and circling around each other while their nude bodies pressed against each other, rubbing to feel each other’s skin. Liesel was gasping for breath as Kurt kissed down her throat and shoulder, then to her breast, taking her nipple in his mouth and driving her a little more crazy. “Ready?” He ran his tongue up her throat and kissed her jaw. She nodded, and he pressed his hips closer to hers, adjusting her leg and hip until he could push against her opening. He felt the hot wetness waiting to surround him, and nearly lost his mind. “Liesel, I’ll try to be slow and gentle, but- it’s been a long time, and I want you very badly…”  
Liesel kissed his shoulder, nodding slightly. “I understand.”  
Kurt took a deep breath of her scent, thinking what a wonderful woman she was, trusting him to do this without fully knowing what to expect. He pulled on her hip and felt himself slipping in. She was so warm, tight, soft-  
He pushed into her in hesitating pushes, trying to be slow, but wanting to be fully in months ago. He made it the base and tried his best to stop, his hips shaking as they wanted to thrust in and out with abandon. He panted into Liesel’s shoulder, trying to keep control. “Liesel,” he gasped. “Is it ok?”  
Liesel pressed her face into his shoulder while her arms were tight around him. “It’s different,” she finally murmured, muffled by his muscles.  
“What?” He asked.  
She pulled back and looked down toward where he was penetrating her. “It feels different…”  
Kurt tensed. He wanted to ask why, but the nagging fear that it was because he was a mutant or strange was filling his mind. His hand cupped her jaw, tilting her face to meet his searching eyes.  
“It doesn’t hurt,” she whispered.  
Kurt let out a sigh of relief, his lips falling to hers and beginning the task of kissing her until she couldn’t breath. His hips shifted on their own, wanting to move in her, so he softly started thrusting, holding her hip as his back arched to let him enter and retreat.  
“Ah!” She gave a short cry as her fingers dug into him.  
Kurt stopped and pulled back from her in worry. “Liesel-” Her eyes opened to look up at him.  
“Good,” she told him. "Feels good..." He let out a breath and went back to her mouth, his hips starting to pick up a rhythm. She gasped and moaned as he kissed her but it was because of the feelings he was inspiring to spiral through her nethers. Liesel’s body jumped and pushed against Kurt, her lips torn away from his as her head was flung back. “Oh!” Kurt paused, about to ask if she was ok, but she moaned, “don’t stop!” He thrust again and she let out another moan. Kurt could feel himself relax a lot. She was really enjoying herself, not putting on a show for him, and he wasn’t hurting her.  
He thrust into her, and she moaned, he pulled out and she groaned, she gasped as his tail moved around her nipples, she cried his name and made him want her more, but he knew it couldn’t last forever. He may have had a grace period due to his recent bout of masturbation, but she felt so much better than his hand.  
Liesel’s nails dug into Kurt’s skin, and she felt bad; she didn’t want to hurt him, but it felt so good, and she didn’t know what to do with herself. She arched as he filled her again, another moan leaving her throat. She was getting close, she could tell, it wasn’t like when he’d licked her and she felt the tightening; it was like each thrust felt better than the last, getting better and better, until she exploded from the pleasure, she was sure.  
Kurt could feel himself getting closer, her tight wetness was too much to handle for this long, and his brain was clouded, making his kiss on her throat turn into sucking, giving her a hickey as he nibbled.  
“K-K- ooo Kurt!” Liesel cried, and he felt her tightening around him.  
He groaned, thrusting hard as he came, making each spurt of cum into a thrust that pushed tight against her. He panted against her throat, feeling her silky hair under his head. His arms tightened around her, rolling over so they were side by side. Liesel’s breath was fast, too, and it took her a moment to catch her breath before she looked up to Kurt. He kissed her, and she let out a soft moan. He murmured something to her in German, but she couldn’t make it out.  
After another few minutes, Kurt smiled and squeezed her against him. “Liesel, are you still awake?” He asked softly.  
“No,” she murmured against his shoulder. “You took all my energy.”  
A quiet laugh rumbled through his chest. “Then sleep,” he told her. “My beautiful _Nieswurz_.”  
She looked up to his face. “Your what?”  
“ _Nieswurz_ , it’s- ah, the English is… Hellebore, I believe.” She still looked at him in confusion. “It’s called the Christmas rose,” he told her. “Because it’s beautiful and blooms for Christmas. Like you.”  
She blushed. “Oh…”  
Kurt kissed her, holding her close.  
… … …   
Sun shone through the window, reflected off of the snow covering everything in a fresh blanket of white that fallen in the early hours while the town slept.  
Liesel felt the light spilling across her eyes and groaned, turning her face away before burying it under the blanket over her shoulder.  
An arm tightened around her and she woke a little to look under her at the fuzzy blue body she was nearly laying on. She let out a sigh of relief. She’d wondered half asleep if she’d just had the most amazing dream, or if she’d really wake to find Kurt in her bed.  
Her hand drifted over his chest, and he stirred, blinking and looking down at her. “Guten Morgen,” he greeted, a smile growing over his face.  
She buried her face in his chest. “Good morning.”  
“Happy Christmas,” he told her.  
She looked up at him, having forgotten it was Christmas. “Merry Christmas,” she answered.  
The church bells could be heard tolling on the other side of town, and Kurt smiled, kissing Liesel. “Do you want to go to the Christmas service?” He asked.  
Her eyes widened. “Looking like this? Don’t those bells mean that it’s starting?”  
Kurt chuckled. “We’ll have to miss it this year, then.”  
Liesel started drawing patterns on Kurt’s chest. “Maybe we should sneak in… We’ll have to pray for forgiveness of the sins we committed last night…”  
Kurt turned over, kissing Liesel as he held her close and let his hands stroke over her. Liesel could feel heat in the kiss; it was starting to flow through her and build in her veins.  
“Let’s wait until after we've finished committing our sins this morning,” he told her suggestively as he kissed her throat.  
“Nnnnn, ok,” she agreed breathlessly as his lips moved over her breast.


End file.
